Are you a member of “Team No Sleep?”
Do you have teens or tweens you stay up and worry about when they aren’t home? Do you have small children who struggle with insomnia, or the endless need for “a drink of water” every five minutes, for five hours after bedtime? Are you up every couple of hours with an infant (or more than one?) who needs fed and changed through the night and day? How about all the above?
Studies show that “motherhood” is the leading cause of lack of sleep in women (disclaimer: “studies” are my personal experiences, observations, conversations, and advice from mothers and grandmothers in my life).
There are many things besides the children themselves that can lead to sleep deprivation. Let me break it down for you:
Before your first child is even born you may experience:
Heartburn
Indigestion
Gallbladder problems
Headaches
Nausea
Insomnia
Stiffness of joints and spine
Swelling of hands, feet, and face
Blood sugar problems
Blood pressure problems
Increased appetite
Decreased appetite
Weird food cravings day and night
Constipation (or the opposite!)
And the list goes on!
During the infant stage of your child’s life you may
experience the above, PLUS:
Memory loss
Confusion
Brain fog
Clumsiness
The inability to speak in adult tones and use big words (i.e. “I need to go
potty”)
Strange facial contortions to entertain said infants
Dark circles under the eyes
Shaky hands
Wobbly legs
Constant worry that leads to MANY baby monitors and speakers around the house,
and the continuous need to open your eyes and stare into said monitor screen to
search for breathing movement, twitching, baby alertness or sleep patterns,
listen for noises, and possibly spot them looking back at you in the camera.
Because we KNOW they know what they’re looking at!
Increased coffee intake
In the toddler years the above mentioned are only enhanced
by these additions:
Increased stress levels
Hair pulling (sometimes they pull your hair, and sometimes you pull your own!)
Tantrums and meltdowns (not them, you)
Hoarding (gotta hide the snacks somewhere!)
Conditional hearing loss-I like to call it a “tune out” button
Conditional increased hearing abilities (Mom hears all the “no-no’s”)
Forgetting your own name
Fatigue
Stronger arms and legs (have you ever fought with a toddler? Daily?)
Stronger lungs (chasing said toddler before they reach the street)
Supernatural vision and ability to find things nobody else can locate
Bruises and scrapes
New locks for EVERYTHING and all the keys that go with them
Eating random things at random times (those little baby puffs are good!)
Less patience with adults who sound like the kids
Eating and drinking from tiny dishes and cups
A sudden understanding of babble, and amazing interpretation skills
Ability to clean a house in under two hours, but decreased desire to do so
Additional, increased coffee intake
Now, as the children grow, some of the above mentioned may fall off the list as new things are added. This is not a guarantee, though, and every mom should be prepared to just…keep adding. Especially if they are adding more children as the current children continue to grow!
The infant and toddler years have come and gone. Now, the
children are in school, making friends, and Mom thinks she might get some sleep
at long last! Wrong! Let’s take the above mentioned and add the following:
Detective skills-scoping out said child’s friends and their parents
Increased stress levels (yep, they keep going up)
Achieved the “whisper scream”
Ability to stretch a few dollars over several days
Increased adult tones and use of bigger words (I need to go number two)
Lie detecting skills
Sleeping with one eye open ability increased
Sleeping standing up
Sleeping in the car at pick-up for school
Ability to get from house to school to practice faster than a speeding bullet
Relief that there is now online grocery shopping and free pick-up
Bedtime enforcement strategist
Referee skills
Larger coffee maker installation
Eventually… built-in coffee corner in the kitchen
Ok. My own, personal experiences reach as far as the upcoming list portion, and there they stop… for now. However, I will revisit this in the future and add to it accordingly.
We enter the tween/teen years! Our list has taken a life of
its own by now, just as the minds of our children have now taken a life of
their own, leading them to believe they know as much (if not more) than their
parents, and adding to the sleepless nights we have already suffered over a
decade by now. Continuing with the above mentioned, we will now add:
Increased stress levels!
Increased detective skills
Lie detector on high alert
Increased phone bill (because they will have phones, and we WILL have locators
on them!)
Increased food budget
Decreased shelf life of said food (it’s gone in hours!)
Higher insurance payments
A second (or third) job for Mom
Return to school for some moms
Less hours in the day
Less hours in the night
More frequent use of paper plates and disposable cups
NON Sleepovers; because who sleeps at a sleepover?
Purchase of stock in Folgers, Keurig, and other coffee companies
Sleep deprivation is real, folks!
They say it is possible to “catch up” on lost sleep, eventually. I’d love to know who “they” are who believe this to be possible!
I have recently become my mother in words as well! “One of these days you will wish you took those naps, went to bed at that hour, and didn’t fight sleep off all the time, when you have kids of your own!”
Yeah…..
So, here’s to those naps you get to sneak in, whether they be on the couch, in the car, your child’s bed, hidden in the closet, or even in the shower! You deserve whatever sleep you can get! All of us here at “Team No Sleep” are in your corner, pillows and blankets in hand! We got your back!
*ends blog post to get up and tend to crying babies…….at 4am*
