Y’all. The funk is real!
That nagging, negative, suffocating yuck that is felt deep in the soul, day and night, and lasting anywhere from a day to a month in time!
What is this funk that has taken over so many lately?
Is it the Holiday Season? Was it the recent, full moon? The weather?
Whatever it is, it affects everything in our world. From housework to our jobs, family and friend relationships, communication and listening, even the ability to be mentally present at home. Everything falls under the weight of the yucky, depressiveness that makes the act of getting out of bed an unwelcome chore.
Now, I could ramble on about great solutions and “saving yourself from the funk” but in all honesty this is a monster that every person deals with differently. But I can tell you what has brought me out of mine.
Angry cleaning!
That’s right. I turn on my angry music on YouTube, get out the trusty cleaning supplies and products, and set to the task of scrubbing one room or another from top to bottom!
Now, I am an ADHD cleaner as well, so I can assure you that no single room in my entire house is completely cleaned from the floor to the ceiling. Not at all! But the music is fun. I often dance with the broom or use it as a microphone, as well as any other thing I hold in my hand during a good song. The work isn’t boring (with my three older boys the surprises I find in, under, around, and behind things are glorious!), and I have the twins to smile and squeal at me in the process. Winner!
My downtime is my killer though. Once I start to slow down, my brain goes right back to the yuck and funk, and I have to find other distractions if the cleaning stops working.
Lists.
I am a chronic list-maker! Do I complete all my lists? Nope! But I am most definitely, addicted to writing them! I make lists for everything. To-Do, shopping, menu, alternate menus, alternate To-Do’s, etc.! Last week, however, I decided to try something different. It worked! When I did this, it made me feel so much better at the end of the day! I sat down and read it that night, and my entire being felt accomplished in many ways!
I wrote an “I did it!” list.
I started creating a list of things I wanted to get done that day and stopped myself. I decided to start with a couple of things I had completed already that morning, and then pick up from there. Well, I completed another little thing, wrote that down, and saw a change in my motivation. I finished another thing, wrote it down, finished another, wrote THAT down, and started getting excited! I kept going and going until my front door opened and my children barreled in, making me realize I had worked the entire day away, and didn’t once feel the funk creep in! It was amazing!
Writing.
You would think that, as a writer, I would find solace and clarity in the thing I love. Lately, this has not been the case. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried writing THIS post, scrapped it, rewrote it, scrapped it again, and so on. I talk myself into a good idea and then talk myself right back out of it. This is definitely the post that is going up, though!
Which reminds me (Squirrel!)! My darling mother saw the funk cloud looming over my world, and she decided that I would be leaving my house to go to the store with her last week. At first, I thought it was a great idea. I knew I needed to get out, and honestly, I wanted to. But it didn’t take half an hour for me to talk myself right out of doing anything of the sort. I sent her a text telling her if the babies fell back to sleep, I would just give her my list of needs and stay home. Her reply? Ha! “Well, I won’t be ready to go until X:XXam.” Which basically meant “I know what you’re up to, and I’m not letting you out of this.” And, as life would have it, by the time she was leaving her house the twins were awake again and ready for the day! Good job, Mom.
She came over, helped me get the babies ready to go, and off we went to Wal-Mart.
We were in that store for EVER, but it was such a good time! We shopped, found some awesome stuff, looked around, and found more. And we bought it all!
My mom drives a Buick Encore. Does anyone know how tiny those are?! Yeah… Me, Mom, twins in car-seats with car-seat bases, and groceries, birthday presents, Christmas presents, supplies for parties, cleaning, etc., all crammed into this teeny-tiny car! When we arrived at my house and opened the doors of her vehicle in my driveway, random shopping bags just started dropping to the ground all around the car! We expertly disguised the presents from the children, while having said children assist in hauling the grocery and necessity bags into the house. There was plenty of laughter, smiles, and good times that day. It was exactly what I needed.
Is all of this going to help me tomorrow? I have no idea. I can say that I feel better, tonight, right now, as I write this little story to you. It has reminded me that even in the funk I have had some good days. It’s nice to remember that, especially when the funk feels like it has lasted for weeks when, in reality, it may have only been hanging around for a few days.
I also understand there are things that bring the depression on, things that we cannot control at this moment in time. It’s the Holiday Season. There are those who are going to pass through this season without loved ones for the first time. There are people who cannot afford gifts for their children. There are some who have no income and no support. There will be frustration, exhaustion, depression, overwhelming emotion, and the funk will descend (or already has) relentlessly. I get it. I feel you. I am some people.
This is why I needed to write this. Because I know. I KNOW how this feels.
I am not on the “other side” of my battle just yet. I am still in the muck and mire of the worst days of my life. You all get to watch me come out of this from the bottom up. I am not coming to you after success and victories. I am coming to you from the “rock bottom” scene. And nothing would make me happier than to have you all travel up the mountain with me. In your own victories, your own testimonies, and your own successes! Let’s hold each other up, praise the little wins, relish the small victories, and gain ground with every step of the way.
It doesn’t matter what you do to get out of your funk. What matters is you get out of it. I’m still pulling myself out, but this has helped me immensely. It helped me because I know I am going to reach someone who needed this today. I am speaking life to someone who needs it. And that, my friends, is where I gain my ground.
WE got this! WE will feel the sun’s warmth again. WE will dance in the rain. WE will climb this mountain before us, and WE will shout our winner’s chant at the peak together! I’m in your corner every step of the way!
This post went an entirely different way than I intended! But I am so glad it did!
From one “funky” mother to another, rise up! Slowly, if you have to. But rise all the same. You got this. I got this. WE can do it!
Much love!
Becca
