Some days I have everything together. I get up and feel motivated to take on the world! I get things done, whether I’ve had coffee or not. I clean, cook, do laundry, run errands, and accomplish more than the little goals I set for myself for the day or the week. I just… rock!
And then, some days I don’t.
The past couple of years have been a complete roller coaster for myself and my little troop of kiddos!
You know those days I said I have everything together? Yeah, those days that I made it work and succeeded in my world seemed to be so few and far between.
The days I couldn’t function outnumbered the days I could by far.
My bed was everything, sometimes for days on end. It was my sleeping space, my workspace, school space, entertainment center, table for food, and just where the kids even came to hang out with me, because I just wouldn’t leave it.
I spent so many months in solitude, overwhelmed with daily life, emotions, worry, anxiety, and depression. It kept me down, literally.
Circumstances threw me to the ground and life stomped on me for a while.
It happens.
It happens to us all at one point or another.
Fast forward to today…
I have stood tall, dusted myself off from the falls in life, and carried on to the best of my abilities. It’s not been easy, not by a long shot! But I’ve done it, and I continue every day, working hard to do better than the day before.
But that doesn’t always happen.
Today is one of those days that I don’t.
My motivator is broken.
My thinker is overthinking.
It sucks!
The cool thing, though, is I can still turn a day I don’t into a day that I do!
Sometimes the inspiration comes on like a lightning bolt, surging me into action and things get done so fast I lose myself in the momentum!
And sometimes I have to pep-talk myself into action, then continue my own verbal encouragement every step of the way.
I’m not sure what today will be, but if I get ONE thing done, completed, today I will have succeeded.
On one of my “Do” days, a friend told me I make this single mom of five kids thing look easy.
I laughed out loud!
No, honey. I just had a day where I connected, somehow, with Superman and he loaned me some supernatural energy from Krypton, and things got done before I collapsed in my bed HOPING it would stay done for maybe the rest of the evening!
Not only do I have five children, but four of them are boys!
This is not an easy task for a single mama.
Even the neatest of boys leave their socks in the living room floor where they took them off while playing video games. And my boys aren’t “neat.”
On my “do” days, I clean this house like a machine, and all the things left behind by my not-so-neat boys get removed from sight and placed where they belong.
On my “don’t” days, I become a drill sergeant. Ranting at them to clean up after themselves before I unplug every electronic in the house and pile them all up in the shed outside.
Yeah, we still must find a happy medium there. Working on that.
And what’s worse is my children always seem to be on the same level of motivation as me!
So, when I’m “doing” they are in the mood to “do” as well. But they are at school while I’m getting everything done that they would do, and they come home inspired with nothing left to get done (besides their bedrooms, which they NEVER have the motivation to “Do”).
And then, on the days I “don’t” they don’t either, and we all end up frustrated and griping all over the house while things may, or may not, get done.
Sigh…
I’m raising a house full of empaths. Lovely.
Now, coming back from that squirrel I just chased after…
I really do have more “Do” days than “Don’t” days anymore, and that’s a huge step forward from where I was even one year ago!
And my reasons for the “don’t” days are completely different than they were a year ago too! Again, huge step forward!
Then it was overwhelming emotions, drama in my life, and depression.
Now it’s overwhelming piles of STUFF, not enough room for any of it, and trying to re-attain my ability to multitask like I used to a decade ago.
Is that possible? I mean, I am ten years older now…
Hmm…
But for now, I am going to post this blog, turn up my music, and attack SOMETHING that needs to be done in my house today.
Wish me luck!
All the love,
Becca
