The First Time Driving Experience!

The First Time Driving Experience!

In all my blogging and writing, I totally forgot to share the lovely story about Titus’ first moments behind the wheel in my Denali!!

You guys… forgive me!

This is an epic moment that must be shared with the world!!

Also, there are no pictures to emphasize the moment… just some fun dialogue.

So, last week, after a long day, I took the whole family with me into town to the grocery store.

We hadn’t been out of the house at all for a while, and we needed to at least get out for a drive.

Now, the kids stayed in the car while I ran into the store really quick, and when I got back to the car I decided to give Titus his chance he had been begging for to practice driving.

I drove to the High School and parked in the parking lot.

Titus was sitting in the passenger seat, all excited to the point he wasn’t sitting still anymore.

Levi (the self-proclaimed “back seat driver”) was in the back, pumping us all up for the event that was to follow moments later.

“Ok Titus… this is it! The moment you have been waiting for! Just don’t kill us all!”

I got out of the driver’s seat, Titus got out of the passenger seat, and we traded places.

Titus settled in the driver’s seat and I told him to adjust everything so he felt comfortable in his “driving position.”

Now, he’s 6ft 3in without his shoes on, so this took a little adjustment… not much, but enough to take him off balance for a second.

He looked at all the “controls” in front of him and I began to tell him what was most important for this first lesson…

Me: “Bruh… seatbelt first my dear.”

Titus: “Uh… oh yeah. I need to do that.”

Levi in the back: “Yep…we’re all gonna die.”

Me: “Shush you! Peanut gallery is now silent. Thank you!”

Titus: “What do I do to put it in gear?”

Me: “Okay, so you have to press the brake first, before you try to move the gear shift…”
Titus: “This thing?” Grabs gear shift and almost moves it without foot on the brake.

Me: “BRAKE!! Yes… that thing. Brake first…”

Titus puts foot on brake.

Me: “There ya go…”

Titus slowly moved the gear shift handle and eased his foot off the brake pedal.

And we slowly eased forward.

Titus: “Whoa! So you don’t even have to press on the gas to make it move forward?!”

Me: “Yep. That’s how it works, my dear.”

Titus: “Oh, this is so cool!”

So, we continued down the length of the parking lot a ways, and I encouraged him to use the gas pedal, “Just put your foot on the gas and press lightly…”

And we LURCHED forward as the engine revved up in beast-mode.

Levi: “Floor it, Titus! Go like 30MPH!”

The car immediately slows down again.

Micah: “Uhm, are we sure this is a good idea?”

Me: “Titus will not be flooring it to any speed, right Titus?”

Titus: “Nah… I’m good with this right here.”

The car continues to creep down the parking lot length, at a leisurely pace…

Me: “Okay, Titus. Now you EASE onto the brake and get ready to turn and go back up the other side. Got it?”

The end of the parking lot gets closer, and closer…

Me: “Titus? Brake dear.”

Titus smashes the brake with his giant foot.

The car comes to a harsh stop.

Titus: “I think I need a little practice with this. And you were right, Mom. Your pedals ARE sensitive!”

Me: “Okay, now turn. And they aren’t that sensitive… boy you got big feet! Haha!”

We go up and down the parking lot a couple of times, until we get to the back end where there are ZERO cars parked.

Me: “Wanna try to park it?”
Titus: “Uh… okaaaay.”

Me: “Alright. So, you are going to turn into one of these empty spaces. Try to get the Denali between the white lines. It’s okay if you don’t get it the first time. It’s a big car.”

Titus picks a spot and starts to turn in.

Me: “Remember, you have to stop before you hit the cement bar there.”

The car is still moving at the same speed.

Levi: “Ohhh… we’re gonna crash!”

Me: “Titus… Titus!”

Brakes applied… no, slammed.

The car stops as if it actually DID hit the cement.

Levi: “Oh Whew! That was close! Is everyone okay?”

Micah: “No. I’m gonna need therapy now.”

Titus: “Oh come on! It wasn’t that bad!”

Me: “Well… it was a good first try. Open the door and see if you are on the white line or not.”

Titus opens his door. “Oh! Mom! It’s perfect!”

I opened my door to see. Yep! It was a good parking job! Well… Minus the lurching.

He wanted to go around again, and try parking again a second time, too.

So, around we went.

Amid the shouts of “Go faster!” and “We’re all gonna die!” “Don’t kill us Titus!” and “I can’t wait till I’m driving, too!” “Speed up!” “Slow down!” and much more from the peanut gallery in the backseat.

A few more loops around the parking lot, and he gradually turned into another empty parking space.

The brakes weren’t hit so hard this time, and the parking between the lines was even better!

This time, I got out and told him to get out and take a picture of his parking job.

Titus was so excited!

He got out, took the picture, and then we traded places so I could drive us home.

We got in the car and buckled our seatbelts.

Titus: “I did pretty good, didn’t I?”

Me: “Yes! You did! Was it exciting?”

Levi: “Next time you need to just go really fast, Titus!”

Titus: “Nah. I’m working my way up to it. I’m pretty proud of what I did today, though.”

Me: “Yeah. You did good!”

Titus turned to me, smiled really big and said, “I mastered 10 M P H.”

Back To School-Pandemic Style: The Journey of Learning Continues

Back To School-Pandemic Style: The Journey of Learning Continues

If there is one thing that I KNOW I’m not going through alone, it is the return to school for my children during a pandemic.

Oh. My. Word!

Social Distancing, wearing masks, only going to school for two days, half days at that, and the rest online learning. It’s all part of a phrase I have come to loathe, personally: “The New Normal.”

Just, no.

It isn’t normal, new or otherwise, but it is an adjustment that we all have to deal with, one way or another, whether we like it or not.

Many people have chosen to homeschool their children this year. Many have waited for the day their children would return to the schools again.

For myself and my family, thus far, we are doing the “blended learning” program that our district has offered.

Why?

Because I NEED some time to myself (well, with the twins too), to get some things done, daily “office” type things, and my online work selling my glorious Scentsy stuffs! (Yes Lawd!)

And because my boys NEED to spend some time out of the house!

Cabin Fever was a thing, and a very intense thing, for a while this spring/summer! I prefer not to repeat the stress that came with that before the older boys went to their dad’s place for a time.

It continued while they were gone, for all of us.

Yes, Micah and I kept busy doing the remodel of the bedrooms, moving things, dumping things, organizing, and cleaning things, but we didn’t leave the house.

Titus and Levi did the bare minimum while with their father, because of the restrictions, and they were confined to their spaces there as well.

When they returned home, we got ready for school to begin.

Boy… was that fun! NOT!

Emails from the schools, parent surveys about remote learning and blended learning programs, the options for social distancing and if parents would comply or prefer to keep their children at home. The list goes on!

Do we buy school supplies, or do we buy computers?

Do we prepare for school attendance with extra laundry detergent, bleach, Clorox wipes, sanitizers, etc., or do we buy a deep freezer and stock up on extra food because we are about to have ALL our kids home all day, every day?

And then there’s the masks…

If the kids went to school, they would wear masks… the entire time!

Stress!

I paced my house, daily, looking at my space. I wondered if I would need to move things around to make more space for small desks or tables, get chairs for said desks, or if I should be buying backpacks and supplies.

I filled out the parent surveys, sent them in, and waited…

Then we got the notice that blended learning was optional, and so was full remote learning.

Uhm…

Yeah, my kids are going to school!

So, what is the schedule of the blended learning program our district has put together?

I’m so glad you asked!

My boys are in “group B” and attend on Tuesday and Thursday every week, from 8am to 12:30pm. The remainder of the week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, they do online learning via the chromebook computers provided on loan by the district for the academic year.

We are currently in week four…

I still have my hair.

It is turning gray.

We have a wretched sleep schedule!

Online days are rough. Attendance days are not quite as rough.

I get some time to do bigger projects in the house while they are gone for a half day, and it feels good to have my time to dance with the broom, and sing into my kitchen utensils turned microphone while I clean them and put them away.

The twins enjoy my antics, and I am rewarded with many giggles, squeals, applause, and they are even starting to mimic my noises and behaviors. It’s gold!

Developing a functional routine in a blended learning environment has proven to be a challenge. It’s not at all the same, or as simple, as it is not consistent… yet.

It will be. It is just taking some time, adjustment, and more patience than I think I have at this time. Ha!

With all the computers, folders, papers, schedules, appointments, and that’s just the three older boys, I am a busy human!

I’m not sure when (or if) we will figure out a functional routine for this blended learning thing, but we are doing our best. Between me, three kids in school, two babies needing more and more active attention, and a house to keep up with, I’m a tired mama by the end of each day.

But! On the days when my checklist gets beyond the halfway point completed, I go to bed that night quite content! I make insane checklists for myself, and I keep thinking of more and more to add to them as the day goes on, so if I get through the parts that I created the night before I’m a happy camper!

But that’s a blog for another day. LOL!

Point is, we aren’t settled in a pattern yet. We may never be. And that’s okay. This is a year of crazy things, drastic changes, things beyond our control, and unexpected twists and turns all the way around. We haven’t been okay for months.!

It’s okay to not be okay.

That is something I cannot say enough.

I have been blessed with super resilient children. That is a blessing and a curse at the same time, because they learn to adapt to change, and some changes are not that great… but they adapt to them, and creating structure in the aftermath of such changes can be… difficult.

Because what is harder to kill than anything else?

Bad habits…

And THAT is also another blog for another day. LoL!

I would LOVE to hear your back to school stories. Your struggles, your victories, and the journey you are on with your children!

This is interactive! In so many ways!

I want to be there for you. I want to support you! And I would love your support and encouragement as well!

Until next time…

All the love!

Becca

How We Are Surviving Quarantine Life

How We Are Surviving Quarantine Life

I know I am not alone when I say this has been the weirdest, longest year I have had in a very, long time!

And it’s only April!

I mean, it trumps the strife of past trials, the anxiety of past situations, and the sorrow of past losses!

This Coronavirus / Social Distance Protocol has been an unprecedented, once in a lifetime, kind of situation that has impacted the entire world! Every family, every household, everyone everywhere has been affected by this in one way or another!

It has been crazy! It has been hard! It has been something we have never dealt with, and I hope we never have to deal with it again!

Now, I was going to post some ideas for others to use for surviving this social distance lifestyle, but I am going to post it in a blog format of how WE have survived by doing certain things…

  1. We distance ourselves from each other at home.

Something of great importance in our world is personal space.

I am a single mom with five kids. One is a teenager, one is just months away from being the same, and one is almost 10 years old. Then we have the infant twins.

To keep the peace, I value the personal space of my children over my own. Yes, I understand this is not the choice many people would suggest, but I have recently discovered that the happiness and “stress-free” faces of my children give me more peace than my personal space. Plus, I get lots of personal space when I am in my room where I retreat to, less often, these days.

  1. LOTS of outdoor time!

If it wasn’t for living in the country, we would have lost our sanity long ago!

My boys live outside on the best of days, and the worst of days. They dig, play tag, hide and seek, farm, battle, nerf wars, and just play with the animals that are around our house; real and stuffies. Haha!

The babies have been able to enjoy some outdoor time, as well. Taking walks up and down our little, country road in their stroller with me and the kiddos, and just sitting and watching all of us do things. They have also enjoyed watching the chickens and other animals roam around, too.

  1. Therapy for everyone!

Now, this isn’t the therapy that most people would expect, but it has been amazing for me and the minions!

Cooking therapy for myself and Micah. He LOVES to help me in the kitchen. Just me and him, alone, working together to make something for everyone.

He loves to make brownies, cookies, and cakes mostly. But he wants to help me with anything I am doing in there, and it does so much for him!

Titus likes to just sit and talk to me, so we sit together and chat often. He has some of the most amazing ideas in that brain of his! And his monologues are gut splitting hilarious!

Levi mostly takes care of his own therapy, alone or talking to his father on the phone. But his greatest therapy of all is playing with the twins! He ADORES these babies! He will spend hours just laying in the floor with them, sitting up with them and showing them funny stuff on his phone, watching little pre-school cartoons on Netflix with them, and just loving on them.

Me? Well, my personal therapy is my writing, some reading, LONG showers, and walking around the flower gardens and looking at the amazing things that were planted by the generations before me. And thunderstorms! I will sit and enjoy a good storm as long as I can without getting soaked! My favorite part about the storms is when they are blowing in, and I can get amazing pictures of the fronts!

Also, the greatest thing to boost my spirits is when I see the spirits of my children boosted as well. That is the ultimate happy for this mama, living the quarantine lifestyle.

  1. Finding projects and ideas outside of school and chores!

Before we were told to stay at home, I knew it was coming. I went to the store and got puzzle books, reading material, mind bending games, and some other fun things for us to entertain ourselves with through this time.

What I forgot was printer paper! So, all the printable things that are being sent to us from the school, plus the material I am finding online that we could be using I am unable to print off, because I forgot printer paper! (sigh)

At first, I thought I had plenty of printer paper. And I did! What happened to it? I’m so glad you asked! This is the fun part!

My boys had been using my printer’s scanning feature to scan random items around the house! I’m talking, photos, papers, signs, wallets, cards, toys, food (candy mostly), body parts!

The sheets of paper they had been bringing me, I didn’t even think about them coming from my only reem of paper! I was too entertained by their antics to think about it.

In conclusion, it doesn’t take much to survive this situation, but on some days it takes all we have.

And I understand that all we have isn’t much sometimes as well. There have been days I have had nothing left to give. No laundry, dishes, cleaning, school work, or chores would be done. No games played. No Talks given. Just, barely getting through and doing the bare necessities. And that’s okay!

What is most important is finding your survival tools, and using them!

Here are a few things in our little toolbox we have used:

Long showers

DIY Projects

Going for walks outside our house

Baking

Cooking

Planting things

Playing boardgames

Playing cardgames

Binging Netflix or Hulu with snacks

Moving furniture and rearranging rooms

Scavenger hunts (indoors and outdoors)

Reading books

Doing puzzles

Going for a drive

Some of the things we do together, and some we do on our own. That’s the beauty of our situation! Multiple opportunities to grow into our own, get to know our families better, getting to know ourselves better!

In this trying time we are finding ourselves in ways we never would have otherwise. We are finding out how strong we are, what we can handle, and the things we are able to do in times of struggle! But, that’s a post for another day.

Much love!

Becca

I Love Someone With Autism!

I Love Someone With Autism!

April is Autism Awareness Month, and for many families it is a month of reflection on how far we have come over the years. I, for one, know my little family has grown by leaps and bounds!

As with all children, our children on the spectrum vary in their milestones in life. As parents we want the best for them, in every aspect of life. And sometimes, it’s hard to differentiate between what we want for them and what is truly best.

When my oldest son was 9, I signed him up for baseball thinking an organized sport would be good for him. I wanted him to have friends, learn some focus and discipline, and get out of the house participating in something physically active. But I wasn’t listening to him. I was hearing everything around him and myself, but I was not LISTENING.

Now, before anyone gets all up in a tizzy, I did not force him to join a sport. He came to me and asked, because one of his few friends was on a team. We pressed to get him on the same team as his friend, and it was a success!

However, as much as he wanted to be a part of the team, my son was not thriving there. He was miserable from trying to be a good ball player. He was exhausted from the split focus and understanding the different plays of offense and defense. He was confused, disoriented, and yet he was happy to just… be there, in the dugout, supporting his team.

So, by the end of the season, that’s where he spent the most time. Was I disappointed? At first, yes. I thought he was being put “on the bench” because he was different. I was that defensive mom. But as I saw his happiness and joy at just being there grow, I became excited for him. And I realized later, his coaches were more in tune with his true strengths than I was. He was popular on the bench! He cheered his teammates on, patted them on the back, gave and got high fives from everyone, offered to help them with their gear, organized helmets and gloves, and just THRIVED in that dugout! It was HIS space, and he owned it!

My son is 13 now, and over the past several years I have gained so much more understanding of him as a child on the spectrum and as a person. He has individuality like none other!

He can mimic sounds and voices with accuracy, to the point that I will walk through my house wondering where the strange, new animal is hiding, or who left the TV or game on in the front room. The entire house would be vacant of everyone but Titus sitting on the couch, watching a video with his headphones on, mimicking the sounds he is hearing through the device.

He loves to create things. Titus can go into the yard and find a few sticks and random pieces of wood or plastic, and within a few minutes he has created a structure, sign, weapon, shield, or any random device he has pictured in his mind. I’m fairly certain if we lived in a place where snow fell half the year, my yard would be full of igloos, forts, battlegrounds, bridges, and anything you can think of, created with ice and snow!

While he loves to do things on his own, Titus is a “people person” at heart. I know many children on the spectrum are not fond of being touched or hugged, but Titus thrives on the calm voice, comforting hug, and his favorite, a pat on the shoulder for a job, well done. He thrives on words of affirmation, supportive feedback, and enthusiastic praise. And he is more than deserving of all the above! He has grown by leaps and bounds, and I have grown because of him.

Titus is my “Gentle Giant.” He was a big baby at birth. Born at 10lb, 9oz and over 22 inches long, Titus had people talking before he cried the first time. Today, he is over 5ft, 7in, wears a Men’s size 12 shoe, and has the demeanor of a boy whose love is for his mother, his family, and his friends. And friends… he has plenty! Everywhere he goes, Titus is loved. And he loves gently but fiercely in return. He would give anyone anything, and they need not even ask! His perception of the world around him is deep and given the right opportunity he will tell you his thoughts… all of them.

My son is on the spectrum. He is special, and different, and worth his weight in pure gold. I am beyond blessed to be called his mother!