The end of the Covid Journey has finally come for the children! The time has come to open windows, doors, pull out the Lysol, Clorox, Fresheners, SCENTSY WAX AND WARMERS, and room sprays! Brooms, mops, laundry detergent, and varying soaps abound!
Now, for all of you who know me well… my house might get clean one room at a time… but once I move to the next room, the previous will be dirty all over again. Sometimes because I’m that slow getting there, but mostly because my tiny tornadoes are that quick at “normalizing” my freshly sparkled surfaces! Haha!
Cleaning and sanitizing aside, I know everyone wants to know how the household is faring thus far…
Titus lost his sense of taste and smell for a total of 24 hours, and had SLIGHT body cramping for about 6 hours. All in the same day. He’s been fine since.
Micah was pretty much out of the woods by the day after they tested. His chief complaint was his throat, and it was pretty bad. He did have the cough for a few days, and several nights through the night. Other than that, he never ran a fever, never had any other issues, and is doing QUITE well now!
Rayne… same as Titus as far as outward issues. She did have a scratchy voice for several days, and acted like she was hurting “somewhere” for about 48 hours.
Asher had the nastiest poo diapers anyone has ever seen in this family for about 5 days! Y’all… it was GROSS!! He bounced back from that, and a slight nighttime cough for a few nights, and has been on top of the world (but under Rayne) ever since!
I never tested positive… but I was sick. Who knows if I actually had it or not, but I was just as bad as Micah for several days. And, given that EVERYONE else in my house had Covid… I think I had false negatives. But I digress…
Levi is coming back to his own on a gradual pace. He was released to go back to school Monday, and when he got home Monday afternoon he crashed… hard. He slept the entire afternoon, evening, and then off and on the whole night into Tuesday morning. He has a very slight lingering cough, nothing rough. His voice still sounds raspy and congested. But overall, he’s improved greatly!
My darling grandmother doesn’t have Covid either… but her annual bronchitis has made its glorious return to her life, and she’s getting better by the day with her medication and PLENTY of outdoor time! Because… what’s going to stop Granny from going outside and working in her flowers?
Yeah… exactly.
Today was the first day I was able to work from home with no kids here until 3pm. I almost didn’t know what to do with myself! I had to turn up some music to cover the silence that was all around me! I got laundry done during breaks, and cleaned the dining room, living room, and hallway during lunch. It was glorious!!
Tonight everyone is already in their beds and it’s not even 8:30pm!
WHAT?!
YES!!!
Part of me wants to crawl into my bed and sleep so badly…
Part of me also wants to get a few more things done around the house that I know are necessary as well.
I can’t tell you which part will win tonight. I’m just going to take some time to be extremely thankful that we went through this tunnel with the ease and grace that we did! It could have been A LOT worse!
But it wasn’t.
And I am just sooooo thankful!
I don’t think I want to look at another bottle of Gatorade for a very long time.
I KNOW I don’t want to see, smell, or taste cough syrup again for a LONG time either!
But I am NOT tired of soup!
And we had lots of soup!
In fact, we are doing Chili tomorrow night. At the request of the kiddos!
Ah… children after my own heart!
Until the next time, my friends!
Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers! They worked!
~B~
Ps. Next time we will have a little chat about my fridge going out while we were quarantined… THAT was fun…
It would seem, my dear friends, that my world has been busier than I ever expected it to be…
When we last connected, I was working at a Domestic Violence Center in my community and enjoying every moment of it! I had also been offered a new job, a full-time job I didn’t tell anyone about at the time. I surprise I was not expecting to ever come my way!
As it stands now, I have been working with the state of Illinois since December 16, 2020, and I have been training on site and remotely from home off an on since that day.
When we last connect, my kids were only remotely learning, full-time, on their school facilitated laptop computers all over my house, every weekday, and driving me insane in the process! Ha!
Now, they are back in schools, half-days, four days a week, and one of them still has to log in remotely on Fridays to do any unfinished work, which he always seems to have these days.
Before Christmas, I was working evenings and only just began the transition to dayshift work for the state of Illinois, and the twins were home full-time as well.
I had my mom coming during the mornings, and my grandmother coming during the afternoons, to help alleviate the stress from all involved, for the working/schoolwork/childcare process. The twins were set to start daycare full-time, but weren’t able to begin until after the beginning of 2021…
And now they are in daycare.
They have been going to the daycare full-time since January 5, and after the first few days of crying, clinging, terrified wailings, heartbreak and mourning the transition has become much smoother and more bearable… oh, and the twins are doing fine, too! LOL!
OH! And thanks to the new job, I have also started the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps program, to eliminate debt, save money, and be able to provide for my babies and myself in ways I never could before!
This should be quite the journey, well worth documenting… when I am not asleep on my feet and able to write about it!
Everything from new jobs to in-person learning at school, daycare, and things changing around the home on a daily basis, this blogging momma has had a hard time keeping up with my own sleep schedule, let alone trying to type and post blogs along the way!
Since we last connected, Titus had just had his first driving experience in my Denali. He has not driven since… not that he or I don’t want to get out there and practice! NO! It’s just been so hectic around here that we haven’t been able to sit down and take a breath!
Has it really been nearly two months?! I remember that day being so warm… with my oldest behind the wheel, and my youngers in the back seat, antagonizing him and prodding him on to do things that both terrified us and made us laugh till we hurt!
We also did not set up any Christmas decorations this yes. I have babies… toddlers… there was just no way! Rayne would have toppled a tree faster than a family of cats and kittens playing tag in the branches in the middle of the night!
I enjoyed my house being free of decorations and whatnot this year anyway.
Now, let’s talk for a quick second about how the joys of change can quickly become the tragedy of stress and anxiety at the drop of a hat!
Just as soon as I got the new job, my car broke down, my dryer quit working, the water heater started leaking (again), and there were other things that required financial attention… immediately!
Christmas ONLY happened because some amazing people stepped up and helped out this year. My kids would have had nothing had it not been for some wonderful, huge hearted, amazing people in my life!!
Words cannot express enough the relief that I experienced with those surprise givings!!
But, as my mother so enthusiastically reminded me… My financial troubles began AFTER I had the finances to take care of it all myself!
WHAT?!
It’s true!!
AHHH!!!
I was able to pay for the repairs on my car, buy a tub for my bathroom (a LONG needed item), and I’ll be able to fix my dryer situation as well!
Oh. My. Word!
She’s RIGHT!!!
Was I stressed when things happened? Yep!
Did I have to borrow cars, and make riding arrangements for kids? Yep!
Was it frustrating in a ripple effect (from me to the kids to the people I had to borrow cars from)? Yep!
But is it over now? YEP!
That tunnel is behind me, and I’m preparing for the next one!
Changes are good.
Changes are stressful.
Changes are exciting, scary, intimidating, illuminating, frustrating, enjoyable, and full of so much potential!!
We are finally settling into a new routine with our most recent change. It’s a stressful, tiring, but exciting thing!
As we develop our own “new normal” I find myself at peace with the way things have turned out thus far.
It’s been a long time coming… this tunnel my little family was stumbling through was a long one. Dark, damp, a little creepy at times, and exhausting.
More tunnels will come.
But for the moment, we will bask in the light on this mountainside we are on. And for the next tunnel… I bought some flashlights! 😊
I can’t wait to share more with you all! Until the next time…
I have been on the Single-Parent journey for a while, now.
During the beginning of this chapter in my journey, I felt more chaos than peace. I cried more than I smiled. And I often wondered how I was going to be able to move forward.
And then, the healing that had already started, I finally began to feel!
The top three phrases I hear most often are, “You make it look so easy!” “I don’t know how you do it!” “You have the patience of a saint!”
My dears, it is definitely NOT easy, I have no idea how I do it on some days myself, and my children would not agree with the “patience of a saint” statement at all! Ha!
I have moments when the “Mom guilt” is strong. Moments when lose my temper, forget things (the laundry in the washer hates me the most), lose things, trip over myself walking down the hallway, and have lately been staring at the wall in my bedroom blankly, trying to figure out what I am even doing!
So, let’s talk a minute about when it all goes haywire…
I KNOW I am not alone when I say this year has been an overhaul of the unexpected, unpredictable (and predictable, sadly), unplanned, unprepared, and uncertainty! Times ten!
We, as parents and families, have been through the mill!
And the year keeps on giving…
I have five kiddos. Everyone who follows me knows this. Three of them are each in their own school right now.
My oldest is a freshman in high school.
My second son is in 8th grade (the junior high in our district).
My third son is in 4th grade at the elementary school.
All of them are in the same “blended learning” group. Group B. They attend their schools for a half day on Tuesday and Thursday every week.
All other days they are supposed to do online learning with their school-provided-chrome books.
Two of them have IEPs. Their classwork is set up differently than the third. And that one (the one without the IEP) is currently going through puberty… Jesus Help Me!
The twins were invited to join early headstart programming via “home-based-classrooms” and I was already set beyond my limit, so I declined that option for this year.
So where does it go haywire?
Well, it starts when there are medical appointments
Education appointments
Other appointments
Kids falling behind on their schoolwork
Begging not to have to go to school on their half days
Juggling all five of them plus the housework
The car acting up (again)
The fridge falling apart (again)
Mom’s business falling short on sales and losing income to cover the bills
Cabin fever
Sibling fights that go from verbal to physical in .25 seconds
Bedtime battles with the older kids (because the twins go to bed at the same time every night!)
Did I mention that this has become a daily issue? Like, this is not “every once in a while.” NO. This is current, real time, common struggle.
What I am describing is all within the past… few weeks.
And then comes Sunday… when the battle to attend church is in full swing. That battle begins on Saturday evening, typically.
But that is another blog post entirely for another day. And trust me, it’s a good one!
Now, where is the peace?
I’m so glad you asked!!
I want to share what I did when I laid the floor in my bedroom a couple months ago.
I sat on my floor and wrote Bible verses ALL OVER it!
I spent hours on the phone with my mom, going over the verses that fit my situation, me personally and me as a mother, my family, our lives, and the things we have been through. We talked and I wrote, all over the place!
The flooring underneath is covered in verse after verse about peace, joy, love, blessings, calm, grace, mercy, forgiveness, faith, miracles, and so much more!
One of my absolute favorites is Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, think on these things.” (NKJV)
Some others I wrote are
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
“Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalms 147:3
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
“And He said unto me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9
“He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.” Isaiah 40:29
These are just a few of MANY verses I wrote all over my floor!
Why am I sharing this? Because this is where my peace comes from!
When it all goes nuts, I go to God! I go to Him in prayer, or in the Bible.
Now, I understand many people get their peace from many places. It can come from angry cleaning the house to your favorite angry music (I do this as well), or going for a walk, run, bike ride, or just getting out of the house for a bit alone. Peace can come from many places!
You all know me. Mine comes from my writing. And I look in many places for inspiration to write and encourage myself and all of you in your journeys as well.
There are days when I cannot find my peace by reading my Bible. Sometimes I’m not near it, sometimes I am not able to sit and read, and sometimes I can’t focus. Those days happen! Sometimes peace is hard to get a hold of.
And, of course, the Bible isn’t the only place I find peace. I find it playing with the twins. Playing my piano. Playing my favorite songs on my phone, or on the radio. Cooking food (chopping vegetables is a great stress reliever!)!
But when it all does go haywire, I have to find that peace! I have to settle my own head so I can settle what is going nuts around me.
My best suggestion to anyone is this:
In your moments when you are at peace, when the world isn’t chaos all around you, grab your notepad and pen and start to make a list. Make a list of the things that give you that smile, the calm feeling, the escape from the chaos. Plaster that thing on your fridge, mirror, anywhere you will see it every day, multiple times!
And when you are at a loss, remember Philippians 4:8! Think about the things that bring your smile, give you peace, fill you with joy and make you want to dance. Even if you cannot find the time to do something to calm you, you CAN think about the positive!
Yes. It is easier said than done. Until it becomes a habit. And a habit it can become!
I did it!
And if this scatterbrained, super busy, always distracted mama can do it, I KNOW you can, too!
If there is one thing that I KNOW I’m not going through alone, it is the return to school for my children during a pandemic.
Oh. My. Word!
Social Distancing, wearing masks, only going to school for two days, half days at that, and the rest online learning. It’s all part of a phrase I have come to loathe, personally: “The New Normal.”
Just, no.
It isn’t normal, new or otherwise, but it is an adjustment that we all have to deal with, one way or another, whether we like it or not.
Many people have chosen to homeschool their children this year. Many have waited for the day their children would return to the schools again.
For myself and my family, thus far, we are doing the “blended learning” program that our district has offered.
Why?
Because I NEED some time to myself (well, with the twins too), to get some things done, daily “office” type things, and my online work selling my glorious Scentsy stuffs! (Yes Lawd!)
And because my boys NEED to spend some time out of the house!
Cabin Fever was a thing, and a very intense thing, for a while this spring/summer! I prefer not to repeat the stress that came with that before the older boys went to their dad’s place for a time.
It continued while they were gone, for all of us.
Yes, Micah and I kept busy doing the remodel of the bedrooms, moving things, dumping things, organizing, and cleaning things, but we didn’t leave the house.
Titus and Levi did the bare minimum while with their father, because of the restrictions, and they were confined to their spaces there as well.
When they returned home, we got ready for school to begin.
Boy… was that fun! NOT!
Emails from the schools, parent surveys about remote learning and blended learning programs, the options for social distancing and if parents would comply or prefer to keep their children at home. The list goes on!
Do we buy school supplies, or do we buy computers?
Do we prepare for school attendance with extra laundry detergent, bleach, Clorox wipes, sanitizers, etc., or do we buy a deep freezer and stock up on extra food because we are about to have ALL our kids home all day, every day?
And then there’s the masks…
If the kids went to school, they would wear masks… the entire time!
Stress!
I paced my house, daily, looking at my space. I wondered if I would need to move things around to make more space for small desks or tables, get chairs for said desks, or if I should be buying backpacks and supplies.
I filled out the parent surveys, sent them in, and waited…
Then we got the notice that blended learning was optional, and so was full remote learning.
Uhm…
Yeah, my kids are going to school!
So, what is the schedule of the blended learning program our district has put together?
I’m so glad you asked!
My boys are in “group B” and attend on Tuesday and Thursday every week, from 8am to 12:30pm. The remainder of the week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, they do online learning via the chromebook computers provided on loan by the district for the academic year.
We are currently in week four…
I still have my hair.
It is turning gray.
We have a wretched sleep schedule!
Online days are rough. Attendance days are not quite as rough.
I get some time to do bigger projects in the house while they are gone for a half day, and it feels good to have my time to dance with the broom, and sing into my kitchen utensils turned microphone while I clean them and put them away.
The twins enjoy my antics, and I am rewarded with many giggles, squeals, applause, and they are even starting to mimic my noises and behaviors. It’s gold!
Developing a functional routine in a blended learning environment has proven to be a challenge. It’s not at all the same, or as simple, as it is not consistent… yet.
It will be. It is just taking some time, adjustment, and more patience than I think I have at this time. Ha!
With all the computers, folders, papers, schedules, appointments, and that’s just the three older boys, I am a busy human!
I’m not sure when (or if) we will figure out a functional routine for this blended learning thing, but we are doing our best. Between me, three kids in school, two babies needing more and more active attention, and a house to keep up with, I’m a tired mama by the end of each day.
But! On the days when my checklist gets beyond the halfway point completed, I go to bed that night quite content! I make insane checklists for myself, and I keep thinking of more and more to add to them as the day goes on, so if I get through the parts that I created the night before I’m a happy camper!
But that’s a blog for another day. LOL!
Point is, we aren’t settled in a pattern yet. We may never be. And that’s okay. This is a year of crazy things, drastic changes, things beyond our control, and unexpected twists and turns all the way around. We haven’t been okay for months.!
It’s okay to not be okay.
That is something I cannot say enough.
I have been blessed with super resilient children. That is a blessing and a curse at the same time, because they learn to adapt to change, and some changes are not that great… but they adapt to them, and creating structure in the aftermath of such changes can be… difficult.
Because what is harder to kill than anything else?
Bad habits…
And THAT is also another blog for another day. LoL!
I would LOVE to hear your back to school stories. Your struggles, your victories, and the journey you are on with your children!
This is interactive! In so many ways!
I want to be there for you. I want to support you! And I would love your support and encouragement as well!
As a mother, I find that I rarely take time for myself. It’s all about the kids in my life, and I am more than happy to have this role!
As a Single Mother, though, I tend to lose myself more often than not and it takes a toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally from time to time.
From the rising of the sun we are go, go, go.
Kids up, showered, ready for their buses to school. If they miss said buses, hurry and get a hold of the grandparents next door to make sure they noticed the bus leaving without one or more children… Yes, folks. This is my life.
After everyone is off to school, whether on a bus or in a grandparent vehicle, it is time to tend to the twinsies.
Babies fed and cared for, on to household chores while they entertain themselves with their fun toys and flashy, loud music things.
Dishes, laundry, clean, break for coffee (probably the second or third cup by now… don’t hate!), back to it, break again to feed, change, and put babies down for a nap…
I Try to work in some blogging, posting on social media for my other job ( I am an independent Scentsy consultant – full time ), feed myself (probably for the first time that day), and back to babies when they wake… around the same time the older three get home from school (again, bus or grandparent vehicle).
About the parent vehicle part, I will have to post a blog about my darling maternal grandparents very soon! My relationship with them is definitely an entire blog posting on its own!
Kids get home, snacks, games, homework (if they admit they have any), some boy fights here and there, scrapes, bangs and booms, supper, showers, more scrapping, gaming, and playing with the babies (they actually do that A LOT), and finally bed!
Typically, I lay in my bed after everyone is sound asleep, NIGHTLY, and wonder where in the world the day went and how I missed it so easily!
Sometimes I sit and take selfies, in hopes that I can use them in a blog post someday, too!
I run through my mental checklist:
Did I make the phone calls I told myself LAST NIGHT I was going to make today?
Did I eat more than once?
Did I get everyone’s stuff back in their backpacks, so we don’t go hunting for papers tomorrow?
Did I shower?! *sniffs under arms* Yeah, we’re good.
Can grocery shopping wait till the day after tomorrow?
Did I check my planner? *near panic*
Did I miss any appointments?
*checks planner in the dark*
Ok, whew! We’re good.
Wait… what if I didn’t write something down and I did have an appointment that we missed?? *panic again*
*Takes out notebook, in the dark, and begins tomorrow’s checklist*
*Falls asleep writing…*
630am next morning, Repeat.
OK STOP!!
This is where you HAVE to stop the cycle! It HAS to end! If it doesn’t, you will find yourself exhausted, frustrated, emotionally wrecked, spread too thin, and eventually burnt out completely!
Take a minute. I don’t care if it’s midnight tonight, or in that single, quiet moment after the kids are out the door for school.
Take a DEEP breath! Hold it for a few seconds. Let it out… SLOWLY.
Repeat!
Moms are built to withstand a lot in this life, but sometimes we put more on ourselves than necessary, and sometimes the load needs to lighten.
So, after you take that breath, find your planner, phone app, whatever you need, and if you have to-schedule yourself into your own life! Get your “Me Time” in, and everyone around you will be better for it! You, most of all!
Mama, your health matters! All of it! Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual! Every part of you is important and I support you taking the time you need to see to your health!
If you only have 30 minutes a day to yourself, don’t spend it on social media. Find something that you think about, something maybe you miss doing because you never have time anymore. Make time for it!
Take a walk.
Don’t like walking? Go for a drive.
In the car too much? Sit under a tree, or on the porch, and soak in some sun.
Don’t like being outside? Sit at the kitchen table with a magazine, newspaper, book, puzzle, journal, or something to occupy your hands and mind with.
Listen to a podcast!
Don’t like reading? Honey get you an audio book! There are free apps for them!
Take a long, relaxing bath.
Don’t have a tub? (I don’t!) Take a long hot shower with music playing in the bathroom. Don’t lie… you take your phone in there!
Lay down for a bit and enjoy the silence.
Don’t think you can lay still? Take that audio book or podcast with you and listen to it there!
Bake cookies! Or brownies! I like to use the cheater boxes that only take 3 ingredients and 30 minutes!
Kids all over you every minute of the day, you say! Tell them it’s time to do chores if they are going to hang around inside the house! Booyah! Instant solitude!
Just wait. If you have an excuse, I have a solution!
Your time is important! And it’s just as important to YOU as it is to anyone else out there! There is only ONE you! Use wisely!
There really is serious meaning to “stop and smell the roses” people. It doesn’t have to be that you stop and smell flowers all the time. No! It means take that moment. Take note of the little things around you. One of those things being your ability to stop! Because, you CAN!
Don’t give yourself to everyone around you until there is nothing left.
I’m sitting here tonight, pondering my week. And it’s been one of “those” weeks.
Part of me feels like a superhero, and the other part feels completely and utterly wiped out!
Let’s talk about the wiped-out part of me first.
The boys went back to school Monday. My oldest son missed Tuesday, which is rare. I rescheduled appointments I had Tuesday as well. We stayed home and did some housework and he got to sleep off his yucky feeling.
For some reason, this entire week has been a bit of a struggle.
Every morning I would get up, try to function, consume large amounts of coffee in an attempt to stay awake and do the things, and find myself lacking in my motivation until long after the kids came home from school in the afternoon.
And then, every night I would sit on my bed and look over the events of my day. I would be frustrated with myself at my lack of productivity, motivation, and inspiration. I had ideas, so many ideas, from the night before. I would write down something new every night, in hopes that I would wake up the next morning and be inspired to do something better.
And every day I would be disappointed in myself.
But we will not stay on the negatives tonight. Yes, it has been a rough week. It has been a week of little to no success in my plans for myself. But this week hasn’t ended on a totally negative note! And that is what is most important!
Here is what was important about my week…
I woke up every day, on time to get the kids on their buses for school. The kids got on their buses for school.
The babies were fed, changed, entertained, and happy all week.
I kept up with dishes and laundry all week.
We have food in the house, and the whole family ate well every day.
The older boys showered every day this week (and for moms of boys, you KNOW this was an accomplishment)!!!
We made it through the yucky weather last night/this morning with minimal panic, and all was well.
I may have gone to bed every night with some struggle against myself, because I wanted to do better, but I went to bed with the reminder to myself that I did it. I made it through every day, on my feet, doing all the things that NEEDED to be done, even if I didn’t accomplish the things I WANTED to get done.
Here’s where I felt like a bit of a superhero…
I did this alone. With five kids. And I do it every day.
I have the support of my own heroes every day. My mother has helped me immensely with grocery shopping. My grandmother has come and helped out a lot when I feel dragged down. My older three boys have done so many things to help me out (besides cleaning their rooms, of course).
Even with the helpers, the support, and the assistance with some things here and there, I still feel the weight of being a single mom. A single mom of five. And THAT is why I feel both like a superhero and exhausted!
So tonight, I am going to be very happy with myself and my week. I made it through to the end, once again, and I rocked it! I rocked those dirty dishes every day (with no dishwasher but my two hands, I might add). I rocked that laundry from the washer to the dryer to the mountain of clean laundry baskets in my dining room. I rocked those dinners every night, whether they were chicken nuggets and fries or roast with all the trimmings.
I’ve been told, “I don’t know how you do it!” and I’ve been told, “You make that look so easy!” Well, it’s not easy in the least, and I don’t know how I do it either! But I do it and so far, so good!
If I can do it, I KNOW you can too!
You got this, and I got your back! I see you, and I am cheering you on every step of the way. The struggle is real, and while that sounds like a cliché quote it is very true! This is real life, and real life is a struggle now and then. Some struggles last a little longer than others, but in the end, we have survived so far!
It’s been quite the week in my home, and I’m sure you have had quite a week yourself! Whether it be with the kids, work, housework, school, or family stuff going on, WE made it through this one!
That’s exciting!
And you know what? I’m going to get up tomorrow with a new “wish list” for myself. And if I don’t get it all done, it will be okay. Because the important things will be done, and everything else is just extra accomplishment.
Rest tonight, my friends. Rest and know it’s a new week with new possibilities and opportunities for amazing things!
