Holidays | My Joyfully Chaotic Life

It’s the End of Christmas Break!

by Becca McConnell | Jan 4, 2020 | Family, Holidays, Motherhood, Parenting

Christmas Break Is Almost Over!

And I am overjoyed that my feelings are mutual with other parents all around the nation!

As I scrolled through social media everywhere today, I saw memes, pictures, status updates, blog posts, and more that depict the hilarious joy of parents that the end of the Christmas Break is finally here!

I love my children. I love them very much! And while, thankfully, this restlessness over the holidays is not present during summer breaks from school, this has been a rough month!

Thanksgiving was the closest to the end of November that it can be, and that made the return to school frustrating for my kids. They were only in school again for about 14 school days, and that short period of time was excruciating for me as a mother.

“When does Christmas break start?”

“Why are we only going to school for two weeks?”

“Can’t we be out of school from Thanksgiving until New Year’s?”

“I don’t want to do this homework. What’s the point?”

“I just want to stay home… can we stay home?”

And repeat daily, until the day the long break begins!

Not to mention, I am dealing with twin infants, this house, a broken car, job hunting, and making sure everyone is fed, bathed, and properly rested each night during this tormenting period.

Oh! Period! Yeah, as a woman I also had THAT happen during this time! Glorious, right?

And then, FINALLY, Christmas Break began!

I was so excited about break! I miss my kids when they are gone to school. If I had the resources they would be homeschooled, hands down! But, I don’t, so they won’t for now…

Anyway, the break begins, and we are full of ideas for fun time spent during this time off.

And then I got sick.

And the twins got sick.

Y’all, RSV is NO JOKE! My middle son had it 9 years ago, when he was only 6 weeks old, and he was hospitalized for a week.

The twins were just past their 5-month mark and Twin 1 got it first. She tested positive for RSV, but he did not. We were in the doctor’s office several times after that first visit, and we also landed in the ER at our local hospital with Twin 2 needing some breathing treatments and whatnot. This was where he finally tested positive for the same.

During all this time, I was sick as well. Sinuses, cough, chest pains, just the whole shebang! My 12-year-old son teased me mercilessly, saying I was “Finally going through puberty!” and having a laugh at my voiceless expense.

Germ-X became my friend. Lysol as well. I carried all the antibacterial anything I could get my hands on around with me, making the boys use it at every turn.

Christmas break was NOT what we intended, not in the least!

My older three musketeers were developing a case of cabin fever that was unlike any other they have had before. The petulant requests for activities became worse than their nagging about the break beginning.

I think God knew I would need a bit of a reprieve, because the weather warmed up and they got to spend hours outdoors, nearly every day of their break!

Of course, the closer we got to Christmas Day, the more the older kids were requesting to “open just one gift tonight” every night before Christmas Morning.

Christmas Day itself turned into quite the conundrum, with some rough planning, communication issues, and unexpected changes in plans, I was left with three frustrated boys and I myself was a little irritated as well. Being sick and frustrated at the same time… not the best combination at all!

To top it off, my mother got sick as well! Christmas week, no less!

Family dinner at my parents’ house wasn’t bad, but it was definitely unlike the normal events we experience there. I felt rough. Mom felt rough. Dad had also been sick and was still recovering, so he felt rough. The twins were miserable. My sister’s sons were also coughing and feeling puny that day.

It was interesting.

After a few, slightly (physically) miserable hours, the boys and I loaded our things into the car and got ready to go.

The car, my broken car, was dead.

It needed to be jump-started before I could bring my collection of kiddos back home.

And the week between Christmas and New Year’s was a mirror image of the week before. Sickness, doctor visits, more sickness.

And finally, here we are!

I’m better. The twins are better. And school starts back Monday!

I couldn’t be happier, and I couldn’t be more afraid. I’m excited that life can return to a somewhat normal routine again, but I’m nervous about sickness that remains all around our region, and how my boys going back to school could end up bringing a whole, new virus into our home after we just got rid of this one.

That being said, come on Monday!! I’ll be armed and ready with my Germ-X, antibacterial shower gels, hand soaps, and Lysol sprays! Vitamin C will be the main course of every meal in my home! I may be nervous about more sickness, but this mama is ready for some progress! And progress in my home can only come when the kids are gone to school.

Can I get a witness?!

Tis The Season Of Yuck

by Becca McConnell | Dec 30, 2019 | Family, Family Health, Holidays, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting, Self Care

I don’t know about you, but this mama is TERRIFIED of sending my older three boys back to school at the end of their Christmas Break! The influenza monster is running its vicious circles around my community (and many others around the nation) and my infant twins have already seen their fair share of sickness with their recent diagnosis of RSV last week!

Thankfully, my older boys have escaped the flu, and any other sickness, thus far. How? I have no idea, honestly! The babies and I have been sick for over a week, but I am convinced my older boys have somehow grown ironclad immune systems! I am grateful, for sure, because my hands have been fuller than my infected sinuses!

Hands down, this has been the most active “sick season” I have seen in a long time! Between blowing my own nose, coughing until I can’t breathe, or I choke on air, aches and pains, fever and chills, not sleeping but dozing all the time, and THEN the twins!

Coughing, sneezing, wheezing, breathing issues, crying, snotting, puking, fussing, tossing and turning, sucking the YUCK out of their noses, and REPEAT every few hours…

Did I forget bottles and diapers? Oh yeah… those too!

And somewhere along the way I think I remembered to fix food, feed the three older kids and myself, and shower. But I’ve slept since then, so don’t get too close. I could be wrong!

Now, as I sit here and type this post for you all, I want to share that we are approaching the road to recovery, slowly! That in itself is an improvement, so I’m relieved beyond words!

At one point I thought how amazing it was that I didn’t forget I have the three older boys in all this mess, but then I remembered… it’s Christmas break, and they are taking advantage of that in EVERY sense of the term! Noise-making gifts, gaming add-ons, movies and videos, this “booty scooter” thing that they literally ride through the hallway and into the kitchen until they hit a wall or the fridge, and it’s been super warm outside so there’s the constant opening and closing of the doors as they run in and out of the house enjoying their time off from school.

In all the fuss and fun that they have been enjoying, I will say that they are still my superheroes! Anytime I needed help with the babies, they were there. Anytime I needed help with cleaning or cooking, they were there. I am blessed beyond measure with my little tribe!

But let me bounce back to the first statement I made in this post: I am TERRIFIED of sending them back to school after this break! The flu is everywhere! People are testing positive for it all around us! I have become the Germaphobe Nazi Mom!

There are bottles of Germ-X, Lysol, Clorox Wipes, and every other hand and antibacterial soap everywhere in my home right now! Nobody can walk into my bedroom without washing their hands at least once, and then Germ-X mandatory! I keep these “Wet Ones” wipes on the crib so I can use them to wipe down anything I plan to use on, or hand to, the babies. (Which reminds me, I need to get more…*writes that on the list*)

I have stocked up on the Airborne Vitamin C with Zinc and am making the boys take it daily. Sometimes I remember to take it myself, and sometimes I forget. But, I’m already sick and they aren’t! Prevention!!!

As me and the wee ones begin the road to recovery, I am praying, hoping, and keeping my fingers crossed that we don’t bring ANY new virus into this house again this season. Mama be tired!

If You’re Not Okay At Christmas

by Becca McConnell | Dec 22, 2019 | Anxiety, Depression, Family, Holidays, Self Care

Christmas is a season of joy, sharing, caring, love, and lots of food and presents.

There are lights, trees, and glittering decorations inside and outside houses all over the world.

Christmas music is played in nearly every public place, and the smell of pies, cookies, and various candies fill the air.

The world of social media has created an image of this season that is absolutely gorgeous! Posts and pictures of babies, families, decorations, lights, and videos of concerts, skits and plays, funny parodies, and sentimental renditions of the most iconic Christmas songs ever written.

There are advertisements everywhere for the best gift ideas to get for loved ones. The world is shining with the spark of the season.

But some people are not okay at Christmas.

For some, this season hurts like no other, and it springs up a depressive state that is almost impossible to escape.

Amid the joys, lights, songs, and tearing of wrapping paper are hearts that are broken, heavy, and bruised.

Some will be celebrating their first Christmas without a parent, grandparent, child, or other family member.

Some will be celebrating their own final Christmas.

Some cannot buy gifts for their children and are struggling with that reality.

Some will sit alone on Christmas, while their families gather around a tree.

Some will sit with their families, and still be alone.

Some have sick children this season, whether it be a viral or chronic illness.

There will be split families, divorced parents, and children who are spending Christmas with one or the other.

Yes, this season is about joy, sharing, and uplifting the spirits. So, let us not forget the broken and heavy-laden hearts this Christmas.

This is the best time of the year for so many, but for thousands of others it is the worst time of the year. Some will hide it well. Underneath the smiles and laughter, their pain will be hard to see.

If you know someone who is hurting this year, or anyone who is trying to be strong for someone else, bless them in any way you can.

If you aren’t okay at Christmas, it’s okay.

Reach out to someone this season. Even if you cannot do face-to-face visits, or even talk on the phone. Just go hide in the bathroom for a minute to text and let it all out that way.

Turn on your favorite therapy music (mine is angry music every time) and take a long shower. If you have littles and cannot get away for a shower, set them up with a distraction and just sit with them with your earbuds in and listen to your therapy music that way.

I see you, hurting person. And I want you to know you are not alone. It feels like it will last forever, the pain and agony you feel today. But it won’t. I’ve been there. Heck, I’m still there! Christmas was once the time of year I looked forward to the most, and now I look forward to the close of the season.

Not only do I see you, hurting person, I also understand. We will get through this season together!

The Funk Is Real

by Becca McConnell | Dec 16, 2019 | Anxiety, Depression, Family, Holidays, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting, Self Care

Y’all. The funk is real!

That nagging, negative, suffocating yuck that is felt deep in the soul, day and night, and lasting anywhere from a day to a month in time!

What is this funk that has taken over so many lately?

Is it the Holiday Season? Was it the recent, full moon? The weather?

Whatever it is, it affects everything in our world. From housework to our jobs, family and friend relationships, communication and listening, even the ability to be mentally present at home. Everything falls under the weight of the yucky, depressiveness that makes the act of getting out of bed an unwelcome chore.

Now, I could ramble on about great solutions and “saving yourself from the funk” but in all honesty this is a monster that every person deals with differently. But I can tell you what has brought me out of mine.

Angry cleaning!

That’s right. I turn on my angry music on YouTube, get out the trusty cleaning supplies and products, and set to the task of scrubbing one room or another from top to bottom!

Now, I am an ADHD cleaner as well, so I can assure you that no single room in my entire house is completely cleaned from the floor to the ceiling. Not at all! But the music is fun. I often dance with the broom or use it as a microphone, as well as any other thing I hold in my hand during a good song. The work isn’t boring (with my three older boys the surprises I find in, under, around, and behind things are glorious!), and I have the twins to smile and squeal at me in the process. Winner!

My downtime is my killer though. Once I start to slow down, my brain goes right back to the yuck and funk, and I have to find other distractions if the cleaning stops working.

Lists.

I am a chronic list-maker! Do I complete all my lists? Nope! But I am most definitely, addicted to writing them! I make lists for everything. To-Do, shopping, menu, alternate menus, alternate To-Do’s, etc.! Last week, however, I decided to try something different. It worked! When I did this, it made me feel so much better at the end of the day! I sat down and read it that night, and my entire being felt accomplished in many ways!

I wrote an “I did it!” list.

I started creating a list of things I wanted to get done that day and stopped myself. I decided to start with a couple of things I had completed already that morning, and then pick up from there. Well, I completed another little thing, wrote that down, and saw a change in my motivation. I finished another thing, wrote it down, finished another, wrote THAT down, and started getting excited! I kept going and going until my front door opened and my children barreled in, making me realize I had worked the entire day away, and didn’t once feel the funk creep in! It was amazing!

Writing.

You would think that, as a writer, I would find solace and clarity in the thing I love. Lately, this has not been the case. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried writing THIS post, scrapped it, rewrote it, scrapped it again, and so on. I talk myself into a good idea and then talk myself right back out of it. This is definitely the post that is going up, though!

Which reminds me (Squirrel!)! My darling mother saw the funk cloud looming over my world, and she decided that I would be leaving my house to go to the store with her last week. At first, I thought it was a great idea. I knew I needed to get out, and honestly, I wanted to. But it didn’t take half an hour for me to talk myself right out of doing anything of the sort. I sent her a text telling her if the babies fell back to sleep, I would just give her my list of needs and stay home. Her reply? Ha! “Well, I won’t be ready to go until X:XXam.” Which basically meant “I know what you’re up to, and I’m not letting you out of this.” And, as life would have it, by the time she was leaving her house the twins were awake again and ready for the day! Good job, Mom.

She came over, helped me get the babies ready to go, and off we went to Wal-Mart.

We were in that store for EVER, but it was such a good time! We shopped, found some awesome stuff, looked around, and found more. And we bought it all!

My mom drives a Buick Encore. Does anyone know how tiny those are?! Yeah… Me, Mom, twins in car-seats with car-seat bases, and groceries, birthday presents, Christmas presents, supplies for parties, cleaning, etc., all crammed into this teeny-tiny car! When we arrived at my house and opened the doors of her vehicle in my driveway, random shopping bags just started dropping to the ground all around the car! We expertly disguised the presents from the children, while having said children assist in hauling the grocery and necessity bags into the house. There was plenty of laughter, smiles, and good times that day. It was exactly what I needed.

Is all of this going to help me tomorrow? I have no idea. I can say that I feel better, tonight, right now, as I write this little story to you. It has reminded me that even in the funk I have had some good days. It’s nice to remember that, especially when the funk feels like it has lasted for weeks when, in reality, it may have only been hanging around for a few days.

I also understand there are things that bring the depression on, things that we cannot control at this moment in time. It’s the Holiday Season. There are those who are going to pass through this season without loved ones for the first time. There are people who cannot afford gifts for their children. There are some who have no income and no support. There will be frustration, exhaustion, depression, overwhelming emotion, and the funk will descend (or already has) relentlessly. I get it. I feel you. I am some people.

This is why I needed to write this. Because I know. I KNOW how this feels.

I am not on the “other side” of my battle just yet. I am still in the muck and mire of the worst days of my life. You all get to watch me come out of this from the bottom up. I am not coming to you after success and victories. I am coming to you from the “rock bottom” scene. And nothing would make me happier than to have you all travel up the mountain with me. In your own victories, your own testimonies, and your own successes! Let’s hold each other up, praise the little wins, relish the small victories, and gain ground with every step of the way.

It doesn’t matter what you do to get out of your funk. What matters is you get out of it. I’m still pulling myself out, but this has helped me immensely. It helped me because I know I am going to reach someone who needed this today. I am speaking life to someone who needs it. And that, my friends, is where I gain my ground.

WE got this! WE will feel the sun’s warmth again. WE will dance in the rain. WE will climb this mountain before us, and WE will shout our winner’s chant at the peak together! I’m in your corner every step of the way!

This post went an entirely different way than I intended! But I am so glad it did!

From one “funky” mother to another, rise up! Slowly, if you have to. But rise all the same. You got this. I got this. WE can do it!

Much love!

Becca

Sibling Day!

by Becca McConnell | Apr 12, 2019 | Family, Holidays, Lifestyle

One of the neat things I have failed, for years, to take notice of is special holidays throughout the year. Not the typical, highly recognized holidays… The wacky, silly, odd holidays that pop up randomly throughout each month.

April 10, for example, was National Sibling Day!

Did I celebrate this holiday? Sadly, no. I didn’t post a bunch of pictures of myself and my siblings on social media, and I didn’t call any of my siblings and wish them a happy holiday dedicated to us. That’s okay, though, neither did they. Ha!

I will, however, celebrate my siblings every day we have on this earth. We are a blessed bunch, and I am thankful every day for the three siblings I have (and the one we never got to meet). Allow me to introduce you:

Jacob; The oldest, self-proclaimed smartest, best looking man in the bunch. I guess I can give him that. He’s the only boy child. Served in the military, is an amazing chef (at his own stove and grill, or anyone else’s who will let him cook for them!), tall, quite country, and probably the most annoying of us all. Nah, I adore him! Of all my siblings, I believe we have the closest communication. I am 2 years younger than Jacob, and the “second set” of children were born over 10 years later. We were kids together, teenagers together, and we got to be the “experimental set” of kids together. (I love you Mom)

Oh, Jacob. The secrets you and I share, and will keep until the day we die…

Like, that one time… Ok, I’m kidding! I won’t tell!

When the younger set of DARLING girls came along, some of the rules changed. And I’m totally fine with that! Why? Because everyone grows and changes with time, and if my parents hadn’t then I would have been worried.

Leah; the little barbie doll, long legged and skinny to an alarming size at some times, we just knew she would be the tall one of the bunch! Well, what is it they say? “When you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans.” Right?! As a mother herself, now, she stands at a whopping 5’4”, and is still not the shortest person on the fire department in our county! That’s right. She’s a fire fighter! And an amazing one at that! She also paints, draws, crochets, and has quite the singing voice! OH, and her hair… blond locks that gracefully cascade nearly to her knees. Can you imagine tucking all that into a fireman’s helmet? Well, how about a ballcap! Because that’s what Leah is known to wear, daily, with every strand of hair hidden from view. The shock factor is priceless when she lets it down around people who have never seen her hair!

Between Leah and our youngest sister, my darling mother lost one. On Christmas day, no less. It was a sad day for us all, and one we will not soon forget.

Joanna; the baby. The angel, youngest, spoiled (almost) rotten, perfect child. Ok, so there’s slight sarcasm there… but only slight! We love to pick on her for being the youngest, because we’ve heard the saying, “The parents knew they made the perfect child when the youngest was born.” Thus, ending the need for more children. Well, in her toddler years, Joanna was FAR from perfect. I vividly recall the day of her birth! Standing in Mom’s room, at the far end of the hallway in the hospital, hearing the screams of a baby coming out of the nursery… we all sat there, looking at each other, afraid to ask, and then the screaming child was pushed in her bassinet into the room where we were sitting. Grandpa was the first to speak. “Well, I think we have the new family singer here.”

Joanna was known by the dirt on her face, the bouncy curls in her hair, and the dimpled cheeks that accommodated her always happy grins. Her favorite thing to do was run away from our house, down to the neighbors adjacent to us, our Godparents. We lived on a country road, so the panic that would ensue when she vanished silently from the house was always intense! Countless times she would be found on the lap of her godfather, riding the lawnmower, as he brought her back, and met us on the trail beside the road.

Now, this shining star of the family has graduated Bible College, married her dream man and has moved to Canada, where her husband is from. The irony is not lost on our family (again, making God laugh). Joanna is the ONE child we all believed would never leave home! She was truly the “baby” of the bunch for years! When she said she wanted to go to college in St Paul, MN I was shocked! She blossomed into one of the strongest people I know.

I couldn’t be prouder of the set of siblings I was blessed to be born into in my life! We have had our ups and downs, like all families. The ups definitely outweigh the downs! We have the most amazing parents! They did right by us throughout our entire lives, and I know they will continue to be our support and strength as we now go through the stages of parenting, they went through with us.

To my brother, Jacob: Look! I wrote about you in a blog post! You are welcome.

To my sister, Leah: You are still my hero! Now, hurry up and have a girl, for goodness sake!

To my sister, Joanna: I still think you are crazy for moving NORTH, of all places! Lawd Jesus! And… I’m still taller than you! Booyah!

Siblings. We love, fight, laugh, cry, hug, punch, push, and together we have become a 4-strand cord that cannot be broken. I am so thankful for you! Happy Sibling Day, every day!!!