Lifestyle | My Joyfully Chaotic Life

Back To School-Pandemic Style: The Journey of Learning Continues

by Becca McConnell | Sep 12, 2020 | Anxiety, Autism, Back To School, Coping with Stress, Family, Family Health, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting

If there is one thing that I KNOW I’m not going through alone, it is the return to school for my children during a pandemic.

Oh. My. Word!

Social Distancing, wearing masks, only going to school for two days, half days at that, and the rest online learning. It’s all part of a phrase I have come to loathe, personally: “The New Normal.”

Just, no.

It isn’t normal, new or otherwise, but it is an adjustment that we all have to deal with, one way or another, whether we like it or not.

Many people have chosen to homeschool their children this year. Many have waited for the day their children would return to the schools again.

For myself and my family, thus far, we are doing the “blended learning” program that our district has offered.

Why?

Because I NEED some time to myself (well, with the twins too), to get some things done, daily “office” type things, and my online work selling my glorious Scentsy stuffs! (Yes Lawd!)

And because my boys NEED to spend some time out of the house!

Cabin Fever was a thing, and a very intense thing, for a while this spring/summer! I prefer not to repeat the stress that came with that before the older boys went to their dad’s place for a time.

It continued while they were gone, for all of us.

Yes, Micah and I kept busy doing the remodel of the bedrooms, moving things, dumping things, organizing, and cleaning things, but we didn’t leave the house.

Titus and Levi did the bare minimum while with their father, because of the restrictions, and they were confined to their spaces there as well.

When they returned home, we got ready for school to begin.

Boy… was that fun! NOT!

Emails from the schools, parent surveys about remote learning and blended learning programs, the options for social distancing and if parents would comply or prefer to keep their children at home. The list goes on!

Do we buy school supplies, or do we buy computers?

Do we prepare for school attendance with extra laundry detergent, bleach, Clorox wipes, sanitizers, etc., or do we buy a deep freezer and stock up on extra food because we are about to have ALL our kids home all day, every day?

And then there’s the masks…

If the kids went to school, they would wear masks… the entire time!

Stress!

I paced my house, daily, looking at my space. I wondered if I would need to move things around to make more space for small desks or tables, get chairs for said desks, or if I should be buying backpacks and supplies.

I filled out the parent surveys, sent them in, and waited…

Then we got the notice that blended learning was optional, and so was full remote learning.

Uhm…

Yeah, my kids are going to school!

So, what is the schedule of the blended learning program our district has put together?

I’m so glad you asked!

My boys are in “group B” and attend on Tuesday and Thursday every week, from 8am to 12:30pm. The remainder of the week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, they do online learning via the chromebook computers provided on loan by the district for the academic year.

We are currently in week four…

I still have my hair.

It is turning gray.

We have a wretched sleep schedule!

Online days are rough. Attendance days are not quite as rough.

I get some time to do bigger projects in the house while they are gone for a half day, and it feels good to have my time to dance with the broom, and sing into my kitchen utensils turned microphone while I clean them and put them away.

The twins enjoy my antics, and I am rewarded with many giggles, squeals, applause, and they are even starting to mimic my noises and behaviors. It’s gold!

Developing a functional routine in a blended learning environment has proven to be a challenge. It’s not at all the same, or as simple, as it is not consistent… yet.

It will be. It is just taking some time, adjustment, and more patience than I think I have at this time. Ha!

With all the computers, folders, papers, schedules, appointments, and that’s just the three older boys, I am a busy human!

I’m not sure when (or if) we will figure out a functional routine for this blended learning thing, but we are doing our best. Between me, three kids in school, two babies needing more and more active attention, and a house to keep up with, I’m a tired mama by the end of each day.

But! On the days when my checklist gets beyond the halfway point completed, I go to bed that night quite content! I make insane checklists for myself, and I keep thinking of more and more to add to them as the day goes on, so if I get through the parts that I created the night before I’m a happy camper!

But that’s a blog for another day. LOL!

Point is, we aren’t settled in a pattern yet. We may never be. And that’s okay. This is a year of crazy things, drastic changes, things beyond our control, and unexpected twists and turns all the way around. We haven’t been okay for months.!

It’s okay to not be okay.

That is something I cannot say enough.

I have been blessed with super resilient children. That is a blessing and a curse at the same time, because they learn to adapt to change, and some changes are not that great… but they adapt to them, and creating structure in the aftermath of such changes can be… difficult.

Because what is harder to kill than anything else?

Bad habits…

And THAT is also another blog for another day. LoL!

I would LOVE to hear your back to school stories. Your struggles, your victories, and the journey you are on with your children!

This is interactive! In so many ways!

I want to be there for you. I want to support you! And I would love your support and encouragement as well!

Until next time…

All the love!

Becca

Let’s Talk About Vision: When our eyes need a little help with clarity.

by Becca McConnell | Aug 31, 2020 | Devotional Moment, Lifestyle, Motivation, Prayer

Recently I had to do a thing… something I dreaded for years, hoped wouldn’t happen until I was at least 40, and cringed as it unfolded before my face…

I was told I need glasses.

Y’all!

My heart sank! My gut twisted up in knots! My palms got sweaty as the Eye Dr kept changing the little glass slides in front of my face and asking, “is this clearer? Or…” *slide, click* “this?”

The letters on the wall opposite me were NOT clear, and nothing was helping yet.

After a few rounds, things started to shape up and I relaxed into the seat.

“Your eyes aren’t really that bad, honestly.” I vaguely heard him say.

Not that bad?! Ha! I’m terrified!

My son and I picked out glasses, made our orders, and went home.

A week later I got the call from the Eye Dr’s office. The glasses were in.

UGH!

So, I drive to the office, on a dreary, dark, cloudy, rainy day.

We got our glasses picked up, the kids got theirs fitted to their faces, and then it was my turn.

I slowly pulled the black frames from the pocket of the soft, leather case… humor and dread filling me to the point I giggled and choked at the same time.

This was it. The moment I avoided for a few years, now. And how I avoided it for this long, I will say I am shocked now!

I put them up to my face… and my world shifted!

Like, no. It MOVED!

Everything changed!

Time slowed for a couple minutes while I adjusted to this new outlook in my world.

I looked around the room, toward the mirror (to make sure they weren’t crooked), and out the window to my car on the other side in the parking lot.

I could see beyond the window!

Clearly!

I could see beyond the window before, don’t get me wrong! But, seriously! This was actually 3D vision!

The tech’s voice brought me back to the room.

“Do they feel okay? They look like they fit great!”

I paused again.

“Oh! Uhm.. yeah.” I touched the sides of the frames again, no adjustment needed. “They’re… they’re actually great!”

She chuckled as she handed me the cases for the boys’ glasses since they already took off to the car.

“It’s different, needing them for the first time. But really, your eyes aren’t that bad at all! So, you are lucky!”

I laughed out loud at this point!

“If this isn’t bad… I’d hate to see what bad really is! This is HUGE! The difference is… weird!”

I thanked her and walked out the door to the car.

Here is where the fun would begin.

I was about to drive with these things on!

And drive, I did!

In the rain. On a gloomy, dark, dreary day.

And I could see beyond the windshield!!

Like, I had no idea I wasn’t seeing clearly what was beyond the windshield!

I thought my eyes were fine all this time!

The only thing that brought me to have my eyes examined was the weird thing they did while I was writing or journaling… making words scramble, jump off the page, and then slowly return to their actual location in my vision.

Ok… that’s pretty intense itself. Haha!

I had no idea my entire world would literally take on new detail and clarity before my very eyes!

Like tree bark! Did you know tree bark has detail???

Bruh…

This was hard to accept at first, I’ll be honest. I was so happy with myself being 36 and not needing glasses (when in reality I probably needed them since I was a teenager), and I had to adjust to the reality that my eyes aren’t perfect!

Sigh… Who knew?!

So, of course, this made me think about how imperfect we really are, and how our vision sometimes needs a little help with something to clear it up.

For some it is the things that are close up that we have trouble discerning, or seeing clearly, and for others it is more the things a bit farther away, but no less dangerous if overlooked or not seen.

Without the Word of God, the glasses He provided for our clarity of sight, we may find that things are harder to discern, harder to identify, and harder to get through as we stumble along, blurred vision, unclear and a little fuzzy.

It may not even be the harsh vision of someone nearly blind, but the smallest need for a tiny adjustment or assist. Either way, this world is a place where it all starts to look the same to our human eyes after a while.

The routines the same, the schedules the same, days are the same, nights are the same, and people are slowly becoming… all alike.

Don’t forget your glasses today. Your clarity. Your peace.

Without a vision the people perish, (Bible!) but the wrong visions, or the visions of false speakers and naysayers can kill a spirit just as quickly as blindness!

Take up your visions and take up your prayer life. Take up your bibles and take up your connections with elders and those who have gone before you on the same paths.

Take up your connection with the Most High. And SEE His good and perfect Will. Which is that none should perish, and ALL be together with Him forever.

I adore you all!

And now… I can see you better! *smiles*

Let’s Talk About Change…

by Becca McConnell | Aug 28, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Lifestyle, Motivation, Prayer

Let’s talk about change for a minute…

I have come a long way in the past couple of years.

I have peace, joy, happiness, and a lot more patience than I have in a very long time!

Are my circumstances different? Not really… but I see them differently!

My life has purpose!

My trials are lessons, my sufferings are strengthening, and I am having so many growth moments! Every day there is a reason to smile, a lesson to learn, and so many chances to pray!

Now, are my experiences different? YES! I do NOT make the same mistakes I did in the past!

One of the amazing things about forgiveness of God is that I have been able to bury it all, just as He did! I am LIBERATED!

I used to use the “turn your stumbling blocks into steppingstones” phrase a lot in years past, but recently I adopted another one… “turn your stumbling blocks into tombstones.”

And this is where God stepped in!

I went to all my pain. All the hurts, the wrongs, the mistakes, the choices made, people I allowed to influence my mind and heart, words I said, the things done to me, said to me, and all the weapons I allowed to hurt me… and I buried them.

Every. Single. One.

And upon each of those graves, I erected a tombstone. There is nothing on that tombstone, just a smooth face, reflecting the light of God shining down on my life. They need no name. My mind will carry the memories of them well enough on its own, so I don’t need the extra reminder of what and who they were.

Only Grace.

“…But where sin abounded, Grace did much more abound.” – Romans 5:20(b)

It’s glorious!

I am changed! I am a walking testament of Romans 12:1-2 where Paul speaks to the church, beseeching them to present themselves as living sacrifices, acceptable to God… and that they be not conformed to this world, but TRANSFORMED by the renewing of the mind.

Y’all… let me tell you!

When you open your mind to Grace, you open your world up to a whole new level of Joy!

I spent so long being angry and bitter, my face froze that way! I remember people constantly asking me “You ok? Something wrong? Are you mad?” and I wasn’t! I was just minding my own business!

Today that face no longer exists! I smile, I laugh, I giggle, and I sing all over the place! In my house, my car, the yard, waking the kids up in the morning, playing with the babies, doing the laundry, or driving down the road!

Because God!

Not me!

I tried making it on my own!

I tried healing my own wounds. I tried getting over my own hurts, and backtracking from my own mistakes. I didn’t want anyone’s help, and I most definitely didn’t want to prove some people right and have to rely on a church family for anything! Why would I go back to my first hurt?!

But this is where God stepped in!

Listen…

I am a child of God. I am beloved of Him, and I am His!

Even when I walked away, He stayed with me. He walked with me through it all. And even though I felt like all was lost, broken, and gone, He held my doubting heart and carried it through the worst of it all!

One passage changed my world, sitting all by myself in my bed one day, reading and trying to find SOMETHING that would lift me up…

Isaiah 43:1-2 “But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.’”

After all this time! I never was alone, at all! YES!

And then… I knew I would have to face my greatest fear eventually: Going to church.

Why did I need this? Because we cannot survive on our own. Yes, God is enough! Yes, God has us! But God also instructs us to forsake NOT the assembling of ourselves… because this is necessary for so many reasons!

Why did I not want to go? Because it was the people there who hurt me first, and the place where my mind would convince me was the blame for my choices as I walked farther and farther away.

But go, I did. And I am happy to say I am quite alive after that experience. Ha!

No, really though. I am happy in the place where God has set me for now, and I am learning. I am growing. And I am excited that I have this freedom, this joy, and the genuine smile I thought I would never get back!

Change is good, my friends. And as more changes come, they will also be good! I do not fear the unknown as I used to. I look forward to it with excitement and anticipation!

*Happy Dance*

We’ve Been Busy: Getting things done this summer!

by Becca McConnell | Aug 12, 2020 | Coping with Stress, Family, Family Health, House Work, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life

When I sit here and think about the summer months of the great 2020 year, I can’t help but sigh.

It’s been a long year.

Longer than most, and yet, it has flown by with a fierce speed.

But we’ve been busy.

I was going to try to post some blogs about the updates in our little house, the summer visit my older boys had with their father, the twins first birthday, milestones, remodeling adventures, garden greatness, and so much more!

But…

Every time I sat down to write about one thing, all the rest would hit me, and I got jumbled.

And then there are the distractions…

Housework, laundry, the tasks of motherhood, appointments, grocery shopping, and more.

Like I said… busy.

So, here I sit. Pondering. So much has occurred this summer, and we are already standing at the open door of the new school year, which starts for our district in five days.

Before we talk about how THAT is going to go, I need to at least try to cover the highlights of the summer months that I missed out on…

We did a huge thing while T and L were gone to their dad’s for part of the summer.

We refloored two bedrooms, moved everyone around into different rooms, and gutted parts of the house of things that needed to be gone for almost two years, now.

Bags and boxes were filled, removed from the house, and donated to those in need.

More bags and boxes were filled and set out with the garbage to be removed from our lives forever.

Carpet was ripped up. Old tiles were ripped up. Minor repairs were made where they could be, and new flooring was laid.

We moved furniture, boxes, totes, toys, baby things, big kid things, TV’s, shelves, and more!

It was a construction crew of 3 (my mom, my dad, and myself), sometimes 4 when my son was helping, and we did it over the course of about 6 weeks.

Did I mention we’ve been busy?

Not too bad, if I do say so myself!

During the weeks that T and L were gone we managed to clean out all kinds of clutter, organize closets, put away seasonal clothes that took up space, re-arrange furniture, rooms, storage, etc.! It was glorious!

During that course of time my sister had a birthday, the twins first birthday happened, the county youth fair took place, Holidays, and other events as well. But we did it! We got it done!

Not to mention the harvest from the garden that started, and continued, throughout the ENTIRE TIME! That made for interesting produce sizes… LOL!

The night before the boys came back home, we got all the big stuff moved, the beds made (kinda), and everything ready for their return!

And now, they are home.

We have continued to harvest from the garden, keep the house managed almost as well as I hoped we would, maintain a routine and schedule (with some minor hiccups that are beyond our control), and even got a trampoline this week to babysit the older three! Ha!

Yeah… we stayed busy. Just a little.

It’s been a long summer. A fast summer. A slow year. A weird season in our lives. And yet… weird as it has been, it has been good.

It has been good for my mind, my health, my heart, my family, and my spirit.

I have grown so much in the 7 months that 2020 has given us, so far.

I am excited about the things that have happened up to this point, and even more excited about the things to come! It’s going to be a great year!

And… still a busy one.

More to come!!

All the love,

Becca

Progress Is Progress, Is Progress: Getting projects done one at a time

by Becca McConnell | Jul 10, 2020 | Coping with Stress, Family, Family Health, House Work, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life, Self Care

It is currently midnight, I noticed as I sit here to type out a blog post for my wonderful readers.

This seems to be the new normal time for me, the new quiet time, study time, reading and writing time, or anything else I might want to get done while I am finally alone… (shower!)

I’m not complaining at all, though! We have been doing a ton of stuff in and around the house over the past month, at least! And it’s been a blessing!

We have been redoing bedrooms, cleaning out storage and clutter, planted a garden, tended the garden (my grandparents more than I on that one), and now harvesting vegetables from that garden!

The pandemic has brought changes to our routines, as well…

Appointments are mostly on a computer screen, for various things.

Going to the store requires masks, not taking the whole family along, and “social distancing” keeping at least six feet between people in public places.

There was no baseball this year, so crying has been acceptable.

The church we just started attending at the beginning of the year had closed their doors to gathering for months, and was able to reopen, only to close again during a spike of the virus in our area.

During this “social distancing” lifestyle change we have had several events take place that would have been much different.

Birthdays, anniversaries, funerals, memorials, graduations, and so much more.

There were no party gatherings.

The twins will be a year old in just over a week.

There will be no party gathering.

What there WILL be, however, is a happy family here in my home, together and safe, all in their newly renovated bedrooms, with their gaming systems and desks, computers, books, games, puzzles, toys, notepads and sketchpads, art supplies, and more all in their places for us to grab when needed and do something fun and cool together.

Not to mention their fuzzy house shoes! Lawd Jesus, these boys have some fun taste in certain fashions!

The flooring project has been testy, to say the least. My poor father has sweat, bled (literally!), and labored over the flooring in the bedroom he is working on now, for days, and it is still not quite finished.

I had planned to paint over the past couple of days, but this garden took lots of attention (besides the normal kids, laundry, dishes, cooking distractions of course), and the walls are still unfinished as well.

No setback has been significant, though, which is a good thing! We have made many big steps forward on the projects at hand, and no steps back… just some pausing here and there. That works for this mama!

Baby milestones are being met, and such joy all around as they are doing so!

Part of the problem at nighttime lately, is the constant flow of thoughts that invade my attempts to sleep.

There is much yet to be done, a little bit of a time crunch, and this mama who wants to see it ALL completed in that timeframe. And then some!

And then there have been the lists!

Oh…the lists…

Anyone who has an overactive mind understands exactly what I am saying, here!

Let me give an example of what I wrote out two nights ago:

To Do Lists

Menu for the week

Shopping lists accompanying the menu

Shopping lists for hygiene, cleaning, laundry, necessities other than food

List of needs around the house

List of needs for the back porch and garage areas

Baby needs

Big kid needs

Working the Scentsy business

Blogging

Scheduling all of the above and organizing it in the daily planner

Rewriting some of it so it all fits into a single day

Remembering something that was forgotten and changing a list or five

Lists of calls that need to be made, appointments, emails, etc.

Prayer lists

Reading lists

And even a list of goals (many hopes and dreams) for myself and the family.

Now, I don’t do this every night. But I do tend to write this much at the beginning of each month, and I often go over these lists near the end of the month to see how much of it all I accomplished.

And yes, I know there isn’t a list of “Mommy needs” mentioned above…

That seems to happen after the rest, and once I think about it those above lists are the “mommy needs” that I would prefer to see done. 😊

I typically get my joy in seeing completion of the other projects, and maybe some rest here and there, in between.

So, here I lay, dozing off as I type. This post will be finished and posted during the daytime tomorrow… or maybe the day after… depending on when I get some free time. Ha!

Speaking of tomorrow! I can’t wait! Because more will be done, and I’ll be one day closer to the finished product! Yayness!!

All the love to you!

Tend The Soil: A poem and devotional moment

by Becca McConnell | Jul 5, 2020 | Coping with Stress, Depression, Lifestyle, Motivation, Prayer, Self Care

We have entered a season of planting, of life and growth, and change.

But is the soil ready? Listen… tend the soil.

The seeds are ready to be placed in the ground, Everything from fruit and vegetables to trees and flowers!

But is the soil ready? Listen… tend the soil.

The sower went to sow his seeds, as Jesus told in his parable long ago.

And He is ready to sow again!

But is the soil ready? Listen… tend the soil.

And who are we? The sower? The seeds? No, we are the vessel, the place where things can grow!

But is the soil ready? Listen… tend the soil.

Is it easy to till the ground? No. There are rocks and thorns, and places high and low to be brought up and leveled down.

But before things can grow or even be planted, we must tend the soil.

The soil must be broken, tilled and plowed until it is fine like powder.

We will sweat in the sun, and toil in the rain, working the day and night hours.

For the harvest we see in the months and years to come

Will start with the soil before anything else. Is it ready? Listen… tend the soil.

And like the parable Jesus told see it from the ground. Does your soil have anything that could hinder growth of your fruit? Listen… tend the soil.

Even after planting, the crops need to grow.

The harvest comes from the fruit, the fruit from the stem, the stem from the stalk, and the stalk from the root. And where is the root? Listen… tend the soil.

If the soil is too dry the root will wither away. If too wet the plant will drown.

If there is too much in the way, thorns, rocks, sticks, and weeds, the plants will be smothered. Please hear me… tend the soil.

Time will go on, after the seeds are planted. It may be a while before the sprouts will show.

Now is not when we should take a break, or think our work is over. Now it is most important to tend that soil!

The first showing of our labor, crops raising all around! But along with the crops will come the weeds, here and there, in between and if left unattended will destroy the ground. Listen! Oh, hear me… tend the soil.

And when the fruit of the labor has finally come, and the harvest is upon us. The benefits will be shared with the world, from end to end, gifts and blessings… from the soil!

When the season has ended, and the harvest is complete. Even now is not the time to leave the ground unattended it must be ready for the new season and the new seeds. Tend the soil.

From the earth we are made, vessels of soil, where the Father wishes to grow, fruits to share with others everywhere More than we could even dare to know.

But one seed is not what we are made to hold, we go through seasons too. From tilling to planting and growing and harvest to clearing and planting again. Listen… tend the soil.

And how do we tend the soil, to keep it smooth and clear? With prayer, the Word, and fellowship with the vessel maker, who has seeds a plenty and is looking for vessels with soil ready, tend the soil…

This is so important, for without the soil the crop cannot grow. There can be no harvest, no fruit to share or show. We have a great vision with no limits in our sights! But we cannot get too hasty to plant if the soil isn’t right.

This season of trial and struggle we have had the past several weeks, has been a time of tilling and plowing I firmly believe. My soil has been broken, I have felt things be lifted, cracked, pulled, plowed, and over again, but I have reached in and with my own hands, touched soil that has been left for so long I couldn’t tend it, and had to commit it to His hands.

For soil left too long cannot be tended alone, the Farmer must come and break it up to help the fruit to grow.

And now the season of planting and sowing seed has come… but please, oh please, don’t forget the soil from now to harvest and beyond.

Listen… tend the soil.

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