No Prayer Guilt: do NOT feel guilty for praying ‘more’ when times are hard

No Prayer Guilt: do NOT feel guilty for praying ‘more’ when times are hard

by | Jun 12, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Lifestyle, Parenting, Prayer, Self Care

Do you ever feel like you pray more (and harder) when you are facing a trial?

And then, do you feel like you are failing yourself, and God, when those thoughts and feelings come to you?

I do!

Recently, I have found my way back to an amazing congregation (church) and have been increasing my prayer-life at least tenfold! It has been an amazing feeling, finding peace, harmony, love, support, and so many other things just from the church family I am now bonded to!

My conversations with, and about, God have been a breath of fresh air in my life, from childhood up to now. Even more so now, because I have a newfound understanding of where God can bring a person from… no matter how far they travel from His voice!

Even when I wasn’t a part of a church body, or even associating much with anyone who was, I never stopped praying.

But I did pray less.

I found myself praying more when something was wrong. When there was a financial issue, or health issue me or one of my children were struggling with, or when I was stressed over something, I had no control over.

And then the guilt would hit me hard.

“Prayer guilt,” I called it.

Even now! When I am stronger in my faith, when I am more connected with fellow prayer warriors, and when I pray just to pray!

It happens.

Prayer guilt is a real thing, y’all! We all struggle with it! We feel bad inside because we just spent hours in travail and agony praying over something we needed, couldn’t control, or over a fear… and then we sit back and wonder if we prayed enough in the good times for God to even hear us in the bad times!

Well, let me assure you! We need NOT have prayer guilt! Why? Let me give you some of many examples in the Bible!

King David! The “man after God’s own heart!”

He sinned! He coveted another man’s wife, and had the man killed so he could marry her! And they had a baby…

And then God told him that the baby would die…

And David prayed.

He anguished! He fasted, and he prayed. He begged God!

For how long?

Seven days…

How long did David dance before the Lord in the streets? Maybe several hours, until the Ark of the Lord was brought to the tabernacle.

Take the example of the Psalms in the Bible…

The shorter chapters are those of praise, worship, and glorifying God.

The longest chapters are prayers for help, freedom, peace, mercy, grace, and God’s presence to be felt.

But even in the longer chapters, they either both begin and end, or at least end, with praise and thanksgiving to God.

Even the prayer Jesus instructed others to pray, the one we know as “The Lord’s Prayer.”

“Our father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.” – Matthew 6.

Jesus went to the garden to pray and beg for the cup to be passed from him. He was there for HOURS!

And then moments of praise…

The Bible is filled with examples of why we should NOT feel guilty for praying harder and praying “more” when we are going through a trial.

Why? Because “the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much!” – James 5:16

What does fervent mean?

“Adjective: having or displaying a passionate intensity.

          Hot, burning, or glowing.”

When do we fervently pray? When we are doing exactly what God told us to do!

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7

My friends, we can pray and pray all day long for the things we need, the hurts we have, the desires of our hearts, and the fears we face! And there be NO guilt! Because God told us to do this!

This is our communication with Him! This is our place, as human beings who are finite, who do not have all the answers, to reach out and speak to the One who does! This is WHY we should not feel guilty for our travail and the hours we spend praying with tears, questions, asking, pleading, and seeking Him!

I am sharing this because I had prayer guilt this week! Today!

I prayed hard, so hard!

And when I was done, I immediately felt like I hadn’t prayed enough during the good weeks we have had. I battled myself in my mind and heart, thinking I just took advantage of my God, and that I should ‘go back and apologize and give more praise because I felt like all I did was ask, ask, ask!

See, we were created by this God, not only to worship Him, but to RECOGNIZE Him! He is the one with the answers when we have none. He is the one with the peace when we are in turmoil. He is the one with sanctuary when we are lost. And when we recognize that He is… we are still worshiping Him.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” – Philippians 4:6.

So, pray, my friends. Pray it ALL!

Pray and cry when you hurt, are scared, struggling, lost, damaged, broken, angry, worried, at war with yourself (and others), and recognize that He holds the answers, safety, protection, peace, joy, healing, mercy, and fulfillment!

Pray and praise when you are happy, elated, overjoyed, relieved, get your answers, find your peace, being healed, find fulfillment, and recognize that He held the answers!

And NEVER feel guilty for talking to God!!!

The point is you reached out to Him. You recognized Him. And that alone is praise.

 

What A Month This Week Has Been: Getting Back To Normal

What A Month This Week Has Been: Getting Back To Normal

by | May 27, 2020 | Coping with Stress, Family, Family Health, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life, Self Care

What a Month this week has been!

As a matter of fact, it’s been much longer than a week since I updated my readers on my world!

There is no way I could even TRY to catch you all up on the details, but I can try to give a bit of an overview of the past week or two…

First, I am VERY happy to say that our sleep schedules are finally becoming more “normal” again! Everyone is sleeping at night and functioning during the day! It’s glorious!

The three older boys have taken to doing more chores around the house, nearly causing me to faint with relief and excitement, including laundry, dishes (I try to keep them from that part! Mama has dishes OCD), remembering to get the trash out before I ask (gasp!), and even getting the yard picked up before I say something to them and KEEPING IT CLEAR of obstacles for the lawnmower! Y’all… I’m almost speechless!

I managed to get out and do some grocery shopping with my sister once, and it was an interesting experience to say the least!

Going out and seeing people spaced apart, wearing masks, not speaking to each other or socializing at all, just nod and walk on by, was actually a bit depressing. I hadn’t left my house for anything other than going to my mom’s, maybe a Dr appointment and a drug store run, and that was it! This was new to me, since mid-March, and it was a bit of a culture shock experience.

The day after the shopping trip, I apparently brought home a belly bug in my groceries, because one child got sick. Very sick. And then, several days later, two more got sick. Again… very sick. I got sick.

This bug ran its way through my home, my parents’ home, my grandparents’ home, and other people that I am close to (but had no contact with) as well. It was rough!

Needless to say, I was giddy with relief when the last of us recovered and we were all able to eat, sleep, go outside, and just function, period!

During the time of sickness and a little weird weather, the garden that my grandparents and I started became a tad overrun with grass and some weeds. And, oddly enough, a TON of these tiny, maple sapling trees that sprung up from hundreds of those little spinner seed pods that fall from the trees during the spring and summer.

Anybody want one? Because we have LOTS to go around! LOL!

Over the past couple of days, myself, Grandma and Grandpa, and the boys spent several hours pulling those little saplings and some grass from around the plants (63 tomato plants!!!), and cleared up some of the green that was growing around our vegetables we planted with such care!

Oh! Did I mention we had a LATE frost??? Yeah, the first week of May brought us the need to cover our plants… For real!

As part of my Vitamin D intake, and dirt therapy, I moved my herbs and pepper plants from their little containers into bigger pots so they would have more room to grow.

Over the course of several days, the twins sat in their little bouncy seats on the front porch with me while I worked. They got to enjoy the sunlight (in the shade actually), watch and be mesmerized by the mama cat and her kittens playing all over the porch, and squeal with delight over the antics of their older brothers as they entertained them from the front yard.

We also rearranged my bedroom to give the twins a little more space to grow as well. That was quite the adventure!

I decided it would be easier to just put the cribs on top of my bed while I move my bed across the room where the cribs were, and then take the cribs off of my bed and place them against the wall where my bed was.

This added much more floor space because I could arrange the cribs much differently and line them up along the wall instead of keeping them back-to-back in the middle of the floor.

Of course, having them on top of my bed and moving my bed was… interesting.

Titus and I picked one of them up and put it on my bed, and it was wider than my bed! Ha!

We got it all moved, and now the room has more space, better arrangement, and it turned out great all around!

Of course, there is the unexplained pair of scissors that fell into my window and will remain there for the foreseeable future…

Altogether the past week (or three) hasn’t been that bad. Yeah, the sickness bit was rough. Really rough. But, besides that all else has been returning to “normal” at least what normal is in my world.

Our sleep is regulating.

We are able to get out and do more again. Like, drive our car to a place and get out of said car, enjoying food, taking walks at the park, and being around a few people at a time.

We had dinner with my parents! Like, we made it there MORE than once to hang out and enjoy company with each other!

I mean, it’s been awesome!

But don’t get me wrong. We have had our moments in each day, good or bad, and that’s okay. Because we are growing, constantly, and this is how we do it!

I can’t wait for the next adventure to share!

 

Quarantine Life Fun: Bringing Down A Tree!

Quarantine Life Fun: Bringing Down A Tree!

by | Apr 19, 2020 | Family, House Work, Lifestyle, Parenting, Quarantine Life

Today’s adventures of the House of Dragons was unplanned, unexpected, and pretty fun!

Yesterday I had to take a trip into town, but my vehicle decided it wasn’t going to start… again.

My mom had to come and drive me into town to take care of my business, and she listened to me gripe and grumble with such grace!

My Denali has been a broken mode of transportation for years, honestly, and yesterday was my breaking point with it.

So, this morning my dad came over to try figuring out what is up with it… again… and hooked it up to a charger for the day.

When he finished that, I took him to my back yard to show him the “Man Cave” my children have decided they wanted to start digging behind the shed. Yes. Man Cave… Literally the beginning of a giant HOLE in the ground!

That is yet another story on its own!

We walked around the house. He started looking at things that he had planned to finish for the past year, and then he said he brought his chainsaw and figured he would just go ahead and cut down the dead Spruce tree that was very close to the side of the house.

By himself.

One man. One chainsaw. A wedge and hammer. And the boys and I standing to the side, watching the whole thing “go down” so to speak.

Oh! And my mother on Marco Polo on my phone, having panic attacks as she watched a little of the event as it happened. Ha!

Dad cut a section of the tree to give it proper direction for the fall, then began to cut into it with the chainsaw from the other side.

All three boys gathered behind me and we watched as Dad inched his way through the trunk of the tree toward its center.

He put the wedge into the cut and hammered it in.

The tree shook, just a little.

He stood back and waited.

It stopped.

Dad picked up the chainsaw again and kept cutting, slowly, inch by inch.

He picked up the hammer and hit the wedge a few more times.

The tree shook again, a little more.

And then it stopped, again.

He gave it one more cut and backed off. The tree was slowly giving way, and you could see it as the topmost parts shook and shuddered.

I was getting excited! The boys were getting excited!

Dad stepped forward with the hammer one last time.

Gave it two hits.

The tree began to lean (more than it already was), slowly, tipping and groaning.

“It’s going down! There it goes!” I told the boys behind me. It was so neat to see!

It was like slow motion, watching the tree as it groaned, leaned, and then fell exactly where Dad wanted it to with such grace!

Yes, the swoosh and crashing sounds it made as it finally landed on the ground were loud and a bit ungraceful. But watching a tree fall from where it stood is quite the sight!

The boys cheered and jumped up to climb onto the fallen giant in our yard.

The stump was tall. Micah climbed up on it and held his hand high, like he had just championed some tall mountain. It was adorable!

Dad swept the sawdust off the stump and they counted the rings. There were at least 35 of them.

I had to go back inside and take care of the babies, but while I was in there Dad, Grandpa, and Micah worked hard to get the tree cut up and removed from the front yard to a burn pile out back.

When I finished my indoor work, I walked out to see the progress.

The tree was gone! All of it! They made quick work of it, to say the least!

Dad got the stump grinder out and finished off the last of the stump that was left, the stump of the holly bush we cut down months ago, and an old stump in my grandparent’s yard next door. It was fun to watch.

Before he ground up the stump, Dad cut a huge chunk off it to make it shorter. Now, I have a stump chair in my yard! I need to figure out where to put it! It’s so cool!

The boys were bouncing all over the place shouting, “The wood chipper! We are getting wood chips everywhere!” And my first thought was, “Oh great… I’ll have wood chips to add to the tracks of grass, mud, weeds, stickers, and other outdoor scraps through my house…”

After that thought, though, I smiled. We had a great day. No, my house didn’t get cleaned, or the laundry done, but we had a good, productive day and everyone was smiling. It was bliss!

And that has been the theme of my world lately. Since just after Christmas, bliss has been felt around here. It has been such a blessing!

Had I been stuck in social distance land with anyone from my past this would be such a different story to tell, I’m almost certain! But it’s not. It is pure happiness, joy, bliss, a little chaos and drama, but overall we have peace.

Thank God!

 

What Is YouTube Good For? I Have A Few Things

What Is YouTube Good For? I Have A Few Things

by | Apr 18, 2020 | Family, Family Health, House Work, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life

What is YouTube good for, anyway?

Well, let me share why it’s good for ME!

Music!

There are more artists found on YouTube than I can count, and a plethora of songs in different formats! Lyrics, videos, slide shows, and more! All accompanied by our favorite songs!

It’s a wonderful distraction when I am cleaning, writing, doing other work, and even when I am in the shower.

When I am working in the house or in the yard, all I need is my earbuds, a fully charged phone, and YouTube! Music to motivate me through my day!

Even better, the meditation and sleep music that is available over thousands of choices, to play through the night to help the babies sleep peacefully, and Mommy too!

What else is it good for?

Kid Distraction!

Millions of videos are available here! From funny to educational to ridiculous yet entertaining.

My kids love watching the Five-Minute Craft channel, funny hand puppets, talking animals, funny fail videos, and some of their favorite video gamers who livestream their favorite online games can be found on YouTube.

If I allowed it, my kids would live on YouTube day and night!

You know what I get out of it? LONG SHOWERS! (Gosh, I wish I had a bathtub!)

The channels that I am still working on getting the kids interested in more are the “How To” channels. So many things are on this site! It’s like the encyclopedia of crafting, writing, video-making, vlogging, podcasting, building, recycling, planting, cooking, baking, and so many other things!

I recently stumbled upon some crochet and knitting channels that I now follow! And that excites me!

I have subscribed to so many channels I think I lost count!

Whoever invented this wonderful tool was blessed with genius!

Another perk of YouTube is the parental controls! Lord knows there are things there that children should NOT see! Things that I will never unsee have crossed my computer and phone screens! Ha!

YouTube is basically a search engine for almost anything under the sun. It’s the video Google of the internet. Just type something in the search bar, and a drop list of selections opens before your eyes!

For instance, the day my dad used YouTube to work on my Denali! Yes, he did!

Now, my children have tried to convince me to start my own YouTube channel.

So, I will ask my readers…

Is this something you would see me doing? Now? In the future?

I am simply a single mother with a basketball team of kids, and a few animals that hang around outside my house, living in the countryside next to my adorable grandparents and their chickens.

What would my channel be about?

Would I do video blogging? Reading my own blogs, and the blogs of my favorites in front of a camera? Reading books? Kids books? Chapter books? Telling stories? Showing off the Scentsy products I independently sell? Simply recording the antics of my children as they run wild in and out of my house? Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about with that one!

While I appreciate that my children are just trying to help me make money with my passion, my blog, and so on, I am not sure at all what I would do with a video channel on this amazing YouTube I sing praises of! Although, I must admit, it would be quite the adventure!

It is tempting…

 

How We Are Surviving Quarantine Life

How We Are Surviving Quarantine Life

by | Apr 17, 2020 | Anxiety, Autism, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family, Family Health, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life

I know I am not alone when I say this has been the weirdest, longest year I have had in a very, long time!

And it’s only April!

I mean, it trumps the strife of past trials, the anxiety of past situations, and the sorrow of past losses!

This Coronavirus / Social Distance Protocol has been an unprecedented, once in a lifetime, kind of situation that has impacted the entire world! Every family, every household, everyone everywhere has been affected by this in one way or another!

It has been crazy! It has been hard! It has been something we have never dealt with, and I hope we never have to deal with it again!

Now, I was going to post some ideas for others to use for surviving this social distance lifestyle, but I am going to post it in a blog format of how WE have survived by doing certain things…

  1. We distance ourselves from each other at home.

Something of great importance in our world is personal space.

I am a single mom with five kids. One is a teenager, one is just months away from being the same, and one is almost 10 years old. Then we have the infant twins.

To keep the peace, I value the personal space of my children over my own. Yes, I understand this is not the choice many people would suggest, but I have recently discovered that the happiness and “stress-free” faces of my children give me more peace than my personal space. Plus, I get lots of personal space when I am in my room where I retreat to, less often, these days.

  1. LOTS of outdoor time!

If it wasn’t for living in the country, we would have lost our sanity long ago!

My boys live outside on the best of days, and the worst of days. They dig, play tag, hide and seek, farm, battle, nerf wars, and just play with the animals that are around our house; real and stuffies. Haha!

The babies have been able to enjoy some outdoor time, as well. Taking walks up and down our little, country road in their stroller with me and the kiddos, and just sitting and watching all of us do things. They have also enjoyed watching the chickens and other animals roam around, too.

  1. Therapy for everyone!

Now, this isn’t the therapy that most people would expect, but it has been amazing for me and the minions!

Cooking therapy for myself and Micah. He LOVES to help me in the kitchen. Just me and him, alone, working together to make something for everyone.

He loves to make brownies, cookies, and cakes mostly. But he wants to help me with anything I am doing in there, and it does so much for him!

Titus likes to just sit and talk to me, so we sit together and chat often. He has some of the most amazing ideas in that brain of his! And his monologues are gut splitting hilarious!

Levi mostly takes care of his own therapy, alone or talking to his father on the phone. But his greatest therapy of all is playing with the twins! He ADORES these babies! He will spend hours just laying in the floor with them, sitting up with them and showing them funny stuff on his phone, watching little pre-school cartoons on Netflix with them, and just loving on them.

Me? Well, my personal therapy is my writing, some reading, LONG showers, and walking around the flower gardens and looking at the amazing things that were planted by the generations before me. And thunderstorms! I will sit and enjoy a good storm as long as I can without getting soaked! My favorite part about the storms is when they are blowing in, and I can get amazing pictures of the fronts!

Also, the greatest thing to boost my spirits is when I see the spirits of my children boosted as well. That is the ultimate happy for this mama, living the quarantine lifestyle.

  1. Finding projects and ideas outside of school and chores!

Before we were told to stay at home, I knew it was coming. I went to the store and got puzzle books, reading material, mind bending games, and some other fun things for us to entertain ourselves with through this time.

What I forgot was printer paper! So, all the printable things that are being sent to us from the school, plus the material I am finding online that we could be using I am unable to print off, because I forgot printer paper! (sigh)

At first, I thought I had plenty of printer paper. And I did! What happened to it? I’m so glad you asked! This is the fun part!

My boys had been using my printer’s scanning feature to scan random items around the house! I’m talking, photos, papers, signs, wallets, cards, toys, food (candy mostly), body parts!

The sheets of paper they had been bringing me, I didn’t even think about them coming from my only reem of paper! I was too entertained by their antics to think about it.

In conclusion, it doesn’t take much to survive this situation, but on some days it takes all we have.

And I understand that all we have isn’t much sometimes as well. There have been days I have had nothing left to give. No laundry, dishes, cleaning, school work, or chores would be done. No games played. No Talks given. Just, barely getting through and doing the bare necessities. And that’s okay!

What is most important is finding your survival tools, and using them!

Here are a few things in our little toolbox we have used:

Long showers

DIY Projects

Going for walks outside our house

Baking

Cooking

Planting things

Playing boardgames

Playing cardgames

Binging Netflix or Hulu with snacks

Moving furniture and rearranging rooms

Scavenger hunts (indoors and outdoors)

Reading books

Doing puzzles

Going for a drive

Some of the things we do together, and some we do on our own. That’s the beauty of our situation! Multiple opportunities to grow into our own, get to know our families better, getting to know ourselves better!

In this trying time we are finding ourselves in ways we never would have otherwise. We are finding out how strong we are, what we can handle, and the things we are able to do in times of struggle! But, that’s a post for another day.

Much love!

Becca

Cabin Fever Has Set In!

Cabin Fever Has Set In!

by | Apr 9, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family, Family Health, House Work, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life, Self Care

Cabin Fever has set in.

Everyone is cranky, and nobody can get along for any longer than ten minutes, so it seems.

Moods are shifty, tension is high, and I have felt completely helpless to solve any problem in my household, period.

Dishes are piled everywhere. Laundry (both clean and dirty) has found its way out of place and in every room.

If I were to take a trash bag through the house with me today, I would fill it as I walk from my bedroom to my kitchen. Maybe not with trash alone, but with everything that is in my way, underfoot, and things that I am tired of looking at where they do not belong! And the trash, of course.

We’ve had rain. Thunderstorms. Tornado warnings. And more rain.

It got warm and sunny, and then it got cold and cloudy. Mother Nature is still trying to figure out if she really wants spring to fully be here yet.

And the Cabin Fever continues…

Last Friday was that “Amazing Day” we had and yet, starting that very night, at bedtime after everyone was supposed to be settled and, in their beds, sleeping, mayhem began.

The babies didn’t sleep well that night. Fussy and restless, we were all awake nearly the entire night.

Saturday morning, I crawled out of my bed exhausted and ready for coffee.

The coffee didn’t help. And THAT was a first!

Apparently, the boys had stayed awake nearly all night as well, and were only asleep when the sun came up Saturday morning. I was too focused on the babies to realize they were all up, too. Besides Levi. He kept checking on me and the twins.

Bless his little heart!!

I spent the majority of the weekend dealing with fussy babies, dishes, laundry, mess all over the place leftover from the baby cave-man party of five boy children the day before, and tracks of mud and dirt from the front door of my house to the bathroom, where showers were taken and muddy clothes dropped all around.

My nerves were shot when the boys decided they could finally rise from their little places of sweet sleep and rest. Getting anyone to participate in ANY productive activity was like dragging them to school on a Monday, any given week!

And then, real Monday happened.

And it happened all over the place! All week!

Weather complications kept children indoors much of the time, causing further tensions and some excessive arguments and outbursts, and pressure on my already snapping strings!

And then, the miraculous happened!

Electronics were taken away from the older boys, instructions given for two options: productive work around the house and yard with me, or, exiting the house and participating in fun and games TOGETHER outside.

Of course, they chose the latter of the options.

And it worked!

We went for a walk one day, worked outside on some small things another day, and I got more things done inside while they were out from under my feet on the rest of the time! It was great!

We had the ups and downs, of course, but progress was made! I feel like we are back on track! Dinners together in the evening (instead of random snack foods munched on around the house in our own spaces), actual conversations without arguments and drama, and, of course, my seeds are growing and making me smile more and more each day!

The kids still keep me up half the night, but I have coffee.

There’s still sibling drama, but I have coffee.

We still struggle with some things like, schoolwork, certain chores, and fighting during certain video games, but I have coffee.

I have sat up late at night with fussy babies, or just fussy myself… but I have coffee!

Coffee isn’t the only thing that has kept me going through this little Cabin Fever situation, thankfully! We have worked through some of our issues and come so some solutions together.

Setting timers, making lists, taking breaks, and just having our “personal time” away from each other, even in this tiny house, we have been able to survive Cabin Fever amazingly!

Annnnnd, now that I have things moving in order in the right direction, I get to apply some new things into our schedule and routine!

I am excited, the boys are kind of excited, and I know it is going to be a great turning point for us in this “Social Distance” life!

Cabin Fever is still a thing, but it’s not as bad as it was at the beginning of the week! That is enough for me!

Now…

To keep things going in the right direction.

Wish me luck? Haha!

Nah… we are going to do great! And I can’t wait to share the other things we will have going on, and the ideas I have!

There will be written work done, some photo opportunities, videos and audios, and just a lot of things to share from my little family to yours.

Things from “Quarantine Life Survival Kits and Guides”, written by me, to “Bedtime stories: told by the children, not read from a book” which is self-explanatory, and “Cabin Fever Recovery” because that is the one that I needed the most, and I know there are plenty of people out there now who need that as well!

I am looking forward to the next post, and I hope that you are too!

Much Love!

Becca