Tis The Season Of Yuck

Tis The Season Of Yuck

by | Dec 30, 2019 | Family, Family Health, Holidays, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting, Self Care

I don’t know about you, but this mama is TERRIFIED of sending my older three boys back to school at the end of their Christmas Break! The influenza monster is running its vicious circles around my community (and many others around the nation) and my infant twins have already seen their fair share of sickness with their recent diagnosis of RSV last week!

Thankfully, my older boys have escaped the flu, and any other sickness, thus far. How? I have no idea, honestly! The babies and I have been sick for over a week, but I am convinced my older boys have somehow grown ironclad immune systems! I am grateful, for sure, because my hands have been fuller than my infected sinuses!

Hands down, this has been the most active “sick season” I have seen in a long time! Between blowing my own nose, coughing until I can’t breathe, or I choke on air, aches and pains, fever and chills, not sleeping but dozing all the time, and THEN the twins!

Coughing, sneezing, wheezing, breathing issues, crying, snotting, puking, fussing, tossing and turning, sucking the YUCK out of their noses, and REPEAT every few hours…

Did I forget bottles and diapers? Oh yeah… those too!

And somewhere along the way I think I remembered to fix food, feed the three older kids and myself, and shower. But I’ve slept since then, so don’t get too close. I could be wrong!

Now, as I sit here and type this post for you all, I want to share that we are approaching the road to recovery, slowly! That in itself is an improvement, so I’m relieved beyond words!

At one point I thought how amazing it was that I didn’t forget I have the three older boys in all this mess, but then I remembered… it’s Christmas break, and they are taking advantage of that in EVERY sense of the term! Noise-making gifts, gaming add-ons, movies and videos, this “booty scooter” thing that they literally ride through the hallway and into the kitchen until they hit a wall or the fridge, and it’s been super warm outside so there’s the constant opening and closing of the doors as they run in and out of the house enjoying their time off from school.

In all the fuss and fun that they have been enjoying, I will say that they are still my superheroes! Anytime I needed help with the babies, they were there. Anytime I needed help with cleaning or cooking, they were there. I am blessed beyond measure with my little tribe!

But let me bounce back to the first statement I made in this post: I am TERRIFIED of sending them back to school after this break! The flu is everywhere! People are testing positive for it all around us! I have become the Germaphobe Nazi Mom!

There are bottles of Germ-X, Lysol, Clorox Wipes, and every other hand and antibacterial soap everywhere in my home right now! Nobody can walk into my bedroom without washing their hands at least once, and then Germ-X mandatory! I keep these “Wet Ones” wipes on the crib so I can use them to wipe down anything I plan to use on, or hand to, the babies. (Which reminds me, I need to get more…*writes that on the list*)

I have stocked up on the Airborne Vitamin C with Zinc and am making the boys take it daily. Sometimes I remember to take it myself, and sometimes I forget. But, I’m already sick and they aren’t! Prevention!!!

As me and the wee ones begin the road to recovery, I am praying, hoping, and keeping my fingers crossed that we don’t bring ANY new virus into this house again this season. Mama be tired!

Don’t Blink

Don’t Blink

by | Dec 18, 2019 | Family, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting

After I had my third son, I thought I was done having children.

Boy, was I wrong!

That child is now nine years old, and here I am with infant TWINS…

As I go through the infant stages with the twins, I am also watching my older three boys grow up before my eyes. My oldest is 6ft tall, and he’s 14 years old!

I have found myself thinking about the baby days of my older three lately, and it brings tears to my eyes for multiple reasons.

All I did was blink!

They were babies yesterday!

When he was born, my firstborn son was huge! Weighing 10lb 9os and nearly 2ft long, the staff at the hospital laughingly told this first-time mother I gave birth to a toddler! I remember hearing someone say, “Put some sneakers on this one. He can walk to the nursery!”

Then I blinked.

He was two, and I was giving birth to his brother. Still the biggest baby in the nursery at that time, my second son was not as big as my firstborn. 8lb 10oz and 19in long, my second child looked so tiny compared to his older brother. He had so much hair it had to be cut the first time when he was merely 10 weeks old!

And I blinked again.

Three years later comes my third son, my first unexpected miracle. Even smaller, my third baby weighed 7lb 14oz and was just under 19in long. He was the perfect infant. Never fussy, always smiling and giggling, and a model child… until he found his feet. And since that day, he has been non-stop energy!

I am sure all I did was blink, again!

Here we are, nine years later, and I went from three to five children!

Just. Like. That.

Blink!

This time, I have a girl! The twins are boy/girl fraternal. She weighed 6lb 4oz and he weighed 6lb 2oz. They were a half inch away from each other in length, one 19in and the other just under 20in long. Born in the same clock minute! Around 10 SECONDS apart!

I’m trying not to blink again. Not yet. They are already five months old.

I have found that, in the process of having kids, when you have them a year or two, or maybe three, apart from each other you don’t realize they are growing as fast as they are. The stages of their growth are quickly being repeated by the one who came next, and so on.

It is completely different this time!

I look at the babies I hold in my arms (yes, I hold them both at the same time often), and then I look at my oldest and wonder where the time went! How did it go by so fast?! When did he get taller than me? How does he now sound like a grown man when he speaks?

All I did was blink!

I am so glad I am active in my journaling! I have been so scatterbrained in the past few years that things quickly escape my memory. I have pages and pages of memories written, and memories that have been kept secure for me to look back on, and someday show the kids as well. Funny moments, precious moments, and adventures we embarked on throughout their lives.

For my oldest boys, there aren’t many years left for me to enjoy with them. They will soon be moving out, going to college, joining the military, or starting their careers where their hearts may take them.

I’m trying not to blink.

For the twins, there are still many years to enjoy, but if my future moves as quickly as the past 14 years have…

I’m trying not to blink.

And I have come to realize that, whether I blink or not, time isn’t going to slow down or stop for me. So, I am striving to live in the moments, savoring every amazing day I have with my tribe.

I will take too many pictures, record the best and worst moments on video (even if the boys are discussing poop in detail, or slinging condoms filled with water around their heads calling them water balloons), and share my captured moments with loved ones.

Life is meant to be lived! In the moments! Plan for the future but remember to embrace the present.

Blink, or don’t blink, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you SEE what is in front of you. Don’t miss it.

Much love!

Becca

The Funk Is Real

The Funk Is Real

by | Dec 16, 2019 | Anxiety, Depression, Family, Holidays, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting, Self Care

Y’all. The funk is real!

That nagging, negative, suffocating yuck that is felt deep in the soul, day and night, and lasting anywhere from a day to a month in time!

What is this funk that has taken over so many lately?

Is it the Holiday Season? Was it the recent, full moon? The weather?

Whatever it is, it affects everything in our world. From housework to our jobs, family and friend relationships, communication and listening, even the ability to be mentally present at home. Everything falls under the weight of the yucky, depressiveness that makes the act of getting out of bed an unwelcome chore.

Now, I could ramble on about great solutions and “saving yourself from the funk” but in all honesty this is a monster that every person deals with differently. But I can tell you what has brought me out of mine.

Angry cleaning!

That’s right. I turn on my angry music on YouTube, get out the trusty cleaning supplies and products, and set to the task of scrubbing one room or another from top to bottom!

Now, I am an ADHD cleaner as well, so I can assure you that no single room in my entire house is completely cleaned from the floor to the ceiling. Not at all! But the music is fun. I often dance with the broom or use it as a microphone, as well as any other thing I hold in my hand during a good song. The work isn’t boring (with my three older boys the surprises I find in, under, around, and behind things are glorious!), and I have the twins to smile and squeal at me in the process. Winner!

My downtime is my killer though. Once I start to slow down, my brain goes right back to the yuck and funk, and I have to find other distractions if the cleaning stops working.

Lists.

I am a chronic list-maker! Do I complete all my lists? Nope! But I am most definitely, addicted to writing them! I make lists for everything. To-Do, shopping, menu, alternate menus, alternate To-Do’s, etc.! Last week, however, I decided to try something different. It worked! When I did this, it made me feel so much better at the end of the day! I sat down and read it that night, and my entire being felt accomplished in many ways!

I wrote an “I did it!” list.

I started creating a list of things I wanted to get done that day and stopped myself. I decided to start with a couple of things I had completed already that morning, and then pick up from there. Well, I completed another little thing, wrote that down, and saw a change in my motivation. I finished another thing, wrote it down, finished another, wrote THAT down, and started getting excited! I kept going and going until my front door opened and my children barreled in, making me realize I had worked the entire day away, and didn’t once feel the funk creep in! It was amazing!

Writing.

You would think that, as a writer, I would find solace and clarity in the thing I love. Lately, this has not been the case. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried writing THIS post, scrapped it, rewrote it, scrapped it again, and so on. I talk myself into a good idea and then talk myself right back out of it. This is definitely the post that is going up, though!

Which reminds me (Squirrel!)! My darling mother saw the funk cloud looming over my world, and she decided that I would be leaving my house to go to the store with her last week. At first, I thought it was a great idea. I knew I needed to get out, and honestly, I wanted to. But it didn’t take half an hour for me to talk myself right out of doing anything of the sort. I sent her a text telling her if the babies fell back to sleep, I would just give her my list of needs and stay home. Her reply? Ha! “Well, I won’t be ready to go until X:XXam.” Which basically meant “I know what you’re up to, and I’m not letting you out of this.” And, as life would have it, by the time she was leaving her house the twins were awake again and ready for the day! Good job, Mom.

She came over, helped me get the babies ready to go, and off we went to Wal-Mart.

We were in that store for EVER, but it was such a good time! We shopped, found some awesome stuff, looked around, and found more. And we bought it all!

My mom drives a Buick Encore. Does anyone know how tiny those are?! Yeah… Me, Mom, twins in car-seats with car-seat bases, and groceries, birthday presents, Christmas presents, supplies for parties, cleaning, etc., all crammed into this teeny-tiny car! When we arrived at my house and opened the doors of her vehicle in my driveway, random shopping bags just started dropping to the ground all around the car! We expertly disguised the presents from the children, while having said children assist in hauling the grocery and necessity bags into the house. There was plenty of laughter, smiles, and good times that day. It was exactly what I needed.

Is all of this going to help me tomorrow? I have no idea. I can say that I feel better, tonight, right now, as I write this little story to you. It has reminded me that even in the funk I have had some good days. It’s nice to remember that, especially when the funk feels like it has lasted for weeks when, in reality, it may have only been hanging around for a few days.

I also understand there are things that bring the depression on, things that we cannot control at this moment in time. It’s the Holiday Season. There are those who are going to pass through this season without loved ones for the first time. There are people who cannot afford gifts for their children. There are some who have no income and no support. There will be frustration, exhaustion, depression, overwhelming emotion, and the funk will descend (or already has) relentlessly. I get it. I feel you. I am some people.

This is why I needed to write this. Because I know. I KNOW how this feels.

I am not on the “other side” of my battle just yet. I am still in the muck and mire of the worst days of my life. You all get to watch me come out of this from the bottom up. I am not coming to you after success and victories. I am coming to you from the “rock bottom” scene. And nothing would make me happier than to have you all travel up the mountain with me. In your own victories, your own testimonies, and your own successes! Let’s hold each other up, praise the little wins, relish the small victories, and gain ground with every step of the way.

It doesn’t matter what you do to get out of your funk. What matters is you get out of it. I’m still pulling myself out, but this has helped me immensely. It helped me because I know I am going to reach someone who needed this today. I am speaking life to someone who needs it. And that, my friends, is where I gain my ground.

WE got this! WE will feel the sun’s warmth again. WE will dance in the rain. WE will climb this mountain before us, and WE will shout our winner’s chant at the peak together! I’m in your corner every step of the way!

This post went an entirely different way than I intended! But I am so glad it did!

From one “funky” mother to another, rise up! Slowly, if you have to. But rise all the same. You got this. I got this. WE can do it!

Much love!

Becca

A Toast To Moms!

A Toast To Moms!

by | Dec 6, 2019 | Family, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting

Raise your coffee mug with me for a toast to moms!

Here’s to moms everywhere!

To the married mom: who is raising her children and her spouse (LOL)

To the single mom: the warrior who does it ALL alone

To the mom of the special-needs child: who raises her child among the critics, nay-sayers, and providers of all unsolicited advice

To the mom of multiples (twins and beyond!): who doesn’t have enough arms to go around

To the mom of boys: who sees more mud and living creatures before her nose than most

To the mom of girls: who is submerged in glitter, bling, and whatever fashion is trending

To the mom of both: who gets it all in one

To the mom of infants: who never sleeps

To the mom of toddlers: who STILL never sleeps

To the mom of teenagers: who yet STILL never sleeps

To the mom of the sports kid: Who has no social life other than the next game

To the mom of the scholar: who learns a new academic lesson daily

To the stay-at-home-mom: who sees the same four walls day in and day out

To the working mom (outside the home): who is stretched super thin

To the mom with anxiety: who worries more than most

To the mom with a chronic illness: who struggles with her own health while ensuring the health of her children

To the mom of a child with a terminal illness: who prays for more days with her baby

To the terminally ill mom: who prays the same

To the mom of a mom: who watches as her child accomplishes what she did only “yesterday”

To moms everywhere! All around the world, no matter their situations and circumstance in life, sharing in one common goal; raising their babies to be the best they can be!

I see you, and I salute you!

Now, raise your coffee mugs high with me, for this toast to moms!

Sip, Sip Hoorah!

Team No Sleep

Team No Sleep

by | Nov 21, 2019 | Family, Lifestyle, Parenting, Self Care

Are you a member of “Team No Sleep?”

Do you have teens or tweens you stay up and worry about when they aren’t home? Do you have small children who struggle with insomnia, or the endless need for “a drink of water” every five minutes, for five hours after bedtime? Are you up every couple of hours with an infant (or more than one?) who needs fed and changed through the night and day? How about all the above?

Studies show that “motherhood” is the leading cause of lack of sleep in women (disclaimer: “studies” are my personal experiences, observations, conversations, and advice from mothers and grandmothers in my life).

There are many things besides the children themselves that can lead to sleep deprivation. Let me break it down for you:

Before your first child is even born you may experience:
Heartburn
Indigestion
Gallbladder problems
Headaches
Nausea
Insomnia
Stiffness of joints and spine
Swelling of hands, feet, and face
Blood sugar problems
Blood pressure problems
Increased appetite
Decreased appetite
Weird food cravings day and night
Constipation (or the opposite!)
And the list goes on!

During the infant stage of your child’s life you may experience the above, PLUS:
Memory loss
Confusion
Brain fog
Clumsiness
The inability to speak in adult tones and use big words (i.e. “I need to go potty”)
Strange facial contortions to entertain said infants
Dark circles under the eyes
Shaky hands
Wobbly legs
Constant worry that leads to MANY baby monitors and speakers around the house, and the continuous need to open your eyes and stare into said monitor screen to search for breathing movement, twitching, baby alertness or sleep patterns, listen for noises, and possibly spot them looking back at you in the camera. Because we KNOW they know what they’re looking at!
Increased coffee intake

In the toddler years the above mentioned are only enhanced by these additions:
Increased stress levels
Hair pulling (sometimes they pull your hair, and sometimes you pull your own!)
Tantrums and meltdowns (not them, you)
Hoarding (gotta hide the snacks somewhere!)
Conditional hearing loss-I like to call it a “tune out” button
Conditional increased hearing abilities (Mom hears all the “no-no’s”)
Forgetting your own name
Fatigue
Stronger arms and legs (have you ever fought with a toddler? Daily?)
Stronger lungs (chasing said toddler before they reach the street)
Supernatural vision and ability to find things nobody else can locate
Bruises and scrapes
New locks for EVERYTHING and all the keys that go with them
Eating random things at random times (those little baby puffs are good!)
Less patience with adults who sound like the kids
Eating and drinking from tiny dishes and cups
A sudden understanding of babble, and amazing interpretation skills
Ability to clean a house in under two hours, but decreased desire to do so
Additional, increased coffee intake

Now, as the children grow, some of the above mentioned may fall off the list as new things are added. This is not a guarantee, though, and every mom should be prepared to just…keep adding. Especially if they are adding more children as the current children continue to grow!

The infant and toddler years have come and gone. Now, the children are in school, making friends, and Mom thinks she might get some sleep at long last! Wrong! Let’s take the above mentioned and add the following:
Detective skills-scoping out said child’s friends and their parents
Increased stress levels (yep, they keep going up)
Achieved the “whisper scream”
Ability to stretch a few dollars over several days
Increased adult tones and use of bigger words (I need to go number two)
Lie detecting skills
Sleeping with one eye open ability increased
Sleeping standing up
Sleeping in the car at pick-up for school
Ability to get from house to school to practice faster than a speeding bullet
Relief that there is now online grocery shopping and free pick-up
Bedtime enforcement strategist
Referee skills
Larger coffee maker installation
Eventually… built-in coffee corner in the kitchen

Ok. My own, personal experiences reach as far as the upcoming list portion, and there they stop… for now. However, I will revisit this in the future and add to it accordingly.

We enter the tween/teen years! Our list has taken a life of its own by now, just as the minds of our children have now taken a life of their own, leading them to believe they know as much (if not more) than their parents, and adding to the sleepless nights we have already suffered over a decade by now. Continuing with the above mentioned, we will now add:
Increased stress levels!
Increased detective skills
Lie detector on high alert
Increased phone bill (because they will have phones, and we WILL have locators on them!)
Increased food budget
Decreased shelf life of said food (it’s gone in hours!)
Higher insurance payments
A second (or third) job for Mom
Return to school for some moms
Less hours in the day
Less hours in the night
More frequent use of paper plates and disposable cups
NON Sleepovers; because who sleeps at a sleepover?
Purchase of stock in Folgers, Keurig, and other coffee companies

Sleep deprivation is real, folks!

They say it is possible to “catch up” on lost sleep, eventually. I’d love to know who “they” are who believe this to be possible!

I have recently become my mother in words as well! “One of these days you will wish you took those naps, went to bed at that hour, and didn’t fight sleep off all the time, when you have kids of your own!”

Yeah…..

So, here’s to those naps you get to sneak in, whether they be on the couch, in the car, your child’s bed, hidden in the closet, or even in the shower! You deserve whatever sleep you can get! All of us here at “Team No Sleep” are in your corner, pillows and blankets in hand! We got your back!

*ends blog post to get up and tend to crying babies…….at 4am*

The Storm

The Storm

by | Apr 25, 2019 | Lifestyle, Self Care

This is a post I wrote a while back, and revised to publish.

There is something to be said about a good, strong thunderstorm. I love them! For me, the storm gives me peace. I feel comforted by Mother Nature when the wind picks up and the rain starts to make its way across the field to my yard. I love watching it, anticipating the first drops before they fall on my upturned face. The wind embraces me, sometimes gently and comforting, and sometimes with a strength I needed but couldn’t pick up on my own. The flash of the lightning sparks an energy in my soul. The thunder soothes my spirit when it rolls in the distance, and it excites my spirit when it cracks, loud and strong, just over head. The energy is just… beyond description!

The storms in our lives, however, are only slightly like nature’s storms. These storms do not bring peace, but pain. Our life storms sometimes come at us with a vengeance, raging in fast and suddenly, leaving us broken and desolate when they are finished. Sometimes they come in gradually, giving us fair warning but not allowing us actual escape, before drowning us in the flood and leaving us heavy with the weight of the heavy rains.

Last year, in the month of June, we had so many storms. Beautiful storms! High winds, some hail, thunder that shook the very soul, lightning that lit up the sky as far as the eye could see, and sheets of rain flowing like waves across the fields. They soothed my soul. The trees did this graceful dance, taking on a life of their own under the music of the strong winds. The rain was like a song, comforting and calming. They were perfect storms. Little did I know they would have to hold me over for my own storms that would come the following month.

July was the month of my personal storms. It was also the month when very few natural storms came to comfort me. But, they did come at the right times, thankfully.

Some storms came in gradually, tormenting me with their approach. I felt helpless to get out of the way, and they poured on me physical sickness, sorrow, disappointment, pain, and rage. Others hit me suddenly and without warning, like a tornado dropping from a clear sky, rocking my world and leaving me completely destroyed inside.

Yes, storms are terrible. They hurt us, blow us over and away, and soak us with their torrential rains. But the result in the clearing is beautiful. They clear away things that are cluttering our lives, and they cleanse us with the floods, so we can emerge from them and rise as a new person.

They are a beautiful disaster. They are not meant to be gentle. They hurt. They break away the things that we have carried for too long, and they blow us over, knocking us down to crack open the hard shell we didn’t even know was covering our soul gradually, over time. It hurts. It really hurts to be put through a storm. Sometimes storms blow away friends and people in our lives whom we believed were going to stand by us in even the strongest winds.

Storms don’t define us. They refine us.

Storms are going to come. There is no way to stop them. It is what we do with ourselves when the storm comes, and when it passes, that defines us. Some storms will break us. I have often thought I would never repair myself from the damage of a life-storm. But the beauty in the disaster is when we allow the storm to blow away the rubble, wash away the dirt and grime, and stand firm, cleansed and free.

Raise your hands and face to welcome the rain. Open your arms for the embrace of the wind. Let the thunder shake off the crud from your heart and soul. Bask in the energy of the lightning. And, when the storm is over, breathe in the fresh air. If you were knocked over, stand up. If you were still standing, take your first step. Be it good, or bad, there is just something about a storm.

Now, the next storm that Mother Nature brings your way, take some pictures, record some video, and feel the cleanse that the earth is receiving. And when you have a life-storm come, you can look at those memories of nature’s finest and hold on, because you will be as the earth when it passes. Cleansed, refreshed, and more beautiful than ever.