And here we arrive at the final chapter of the great health scare of 2024.
Well, the first one anyway…
We are going to highlight Friday and Sunday in this post, as they were the days of fun and adventure… and the rest were filler days. LOL
The ambulance arrived at the hospital I would be admitted into. The doors opened and a burst of WARM air hit me.
Y’all. You know me! It was February… and it was warm! I was not happy at all. I looked up at the paramedic and mentioned the temperature. It wasn’t fair! It’s warm outside and I’m stuck to a gurney going into a hospital for God knows how long!
“Yeah. It’s supposed to be nice for a few days! Then, cold again.” She said as they wheeled my gurney from the truck to the doors of the ER.
I was too miserable to be upset for long, though. I had been bleeding for weeks, I was barely alert, and I had several feet of gauze shoved up where things don’t need to be shoved to slow the flow of blood.
To shorten the ER part of this tale, I will say that the Dr’s came in, OBGYN department knew I was coming and they knew I was “packed” and they were furious. The first thing they did after drawing yet more blood from my person was get that hot mess out of my body.
And when they did…
Red Niagara! For minutes! And then, Red Lake Michigan (or whatever large body of water) …
Everyone in there was like, “Oh my… whoa. Ok… more blood for you!”
It was then explained to me that my bleeding was internal… and it needed a place to go. So, if the “exit” from my body was closed off, it would start finding other places inside to retreat to. Not good, apparently.
Thankfully, Mom made it there to sit with me during my torture and torment shortly after I arrived in the ambulance. She got all the kiddos ready and off to their respective school destinations before following me up to the hospital.
By now, it’s mid-morning on Friday. I’m exhausted. Depleted. Have nothing left to give, at all. In more ways than one! They got me all set up and sent up to surgery floor for my stay while they decided exactly what was going to be done about my “unique situation” as they called it so many times.
Finally in my room on the 4th floor, I get to meet my nurses for the first time. A time of enormous discomfort for myself, and lots of sympathy for them from me as well.
I was soaked, not functional, unable to even sit up on my own at this point. I tried… gosh I tried! They had to clean me up as soon as I arrived, change my bed, my clothes, put an adult diaper thingy on me because the hemorrhaging was NOT letting up at all, and try to do it ALL while I’m laying in this bed!
Y’all. These nurses got skills!
After the magic they performed getting me and my bed changed out while I was still in it, they were able to reach out to my OBGYN to see if they were going to take out the baby growing system that day. I hadn’t eaten or drank anything in 24 hours. Mama was living off whatever was going into my body via IV tubes.
While we waited for word from the Docs, I got set up with more blood, iron infusions, and some other concoction via IV bags to give me some sort of nutrients.
I also got to meet lots of nurses, techs, lab personnel, some student doctors, and other people who apparently couldn’t wait to see the “unique situation” that was in room 409.
Fast forward to that afternoon. The doctor came in and explained how he determined best to handle my situation.
“Between a rock and a hard place” was used to describe me multiple times by all the people I encountered.
My Dr referred to me as “Interesting”, “unique”, “complicated”, and other things as well.
So, let’s review my situation:
I have blood clots in my lungs. I am bleeding. A lot! The bleeding needs to stop. But the concern is the clots… which is as bad (and could be worse). Both needs treated/fixed. But, given that one is total opposite of the other… only one can be treated/fixed at a time.
It was determined that I would be having an ablation procedure to try to slow/stop the bleeding. I would have to be taken off my blood thinners for 2 days prior to the surgery, if possible, but if the bleeding got worse 1 day would do if absolutely necessary.
Every decision maker in my medical case determined that a hysterectomy would make my already difficult situation worse and wanted to do the least alteration possible to my body, get me back on the blood thinners, and on the road to recovery ASAP.
With the plan in place, it was determined that I could finally EAT!
Y’all… I ate whatever they could bring me! Sandwiches, chips, yogurts, crackers, all of it! I munched on those wonderful ice chips that hospitals have for hours in complete bliss!
That evening, a dear friend of my mom and I came to see me and bring a cute flower with a balloon on it to brighten my room. We chatted, laughed, and enjoyed each other’s company. I remained reclined safely in my bed as any time I would even try to sit up without the bed lifting me my heartrate would jump into the 120’s. Everyone saw it. I was hooked up to all these monitors so they could see anytime my heartrate jumped at the nurse’s desk.
So, that prefaced my next part of the story…
While we were chatting, one of my WONDERFUL nurses came into the room to see if I could get up to go to the bathroom. A: I felt like I needed to and told them so, and B: they needed to see if I could stand on my own two feet.
I could not…
I got up, made it to the bathroom, and mind you I had been doing this at home for two weeks already, not realizing how BAD it was for me to do so…
I make it to the bathroom. I’m dizzy. But man, I had to PEE! So, I start trying to “do my thing” and I hear a phone ring in my room.
Yeah… that was the nurses desk calling my charge nurse to see if I was ALIVE at this point, because (unbeknownst to me) my heart rate was 155 and my BP had bottomed out waaaaaay below readings of anyone who is conscious.
I opened the bathroom door, took one look at my nurse and said, “Yeah… this wasn’t a good idea. I don’t feel well.”
My mother and our dear friend were in the room, eyes fixated on the monitors. My mother’s face was probably as white as mine at this point, obviously not for the same reason, and they were both immobile as the nurse guided me back to my bed.
I collapsed there, dizzy, nauseous, clammy, sweaty, and barely alert at this point.
It took a few minutes for my brain and my body to communicate to each other that I was back in bed and my heart could settle down. But once they did things got a little better by the minute.
More blood. More iron. More blood taken from me to see my counts.
Days of poking, testing, poking, testing, more poking again…
The ablation was done on Sunday morning. I was out for a bit, procedure completed. Pain. Lots of pain. Anxiety and fear that the procedure wouldn’t work. Paranoia. Depression. I missed my kids… a lot!
Thankfully, I had some yarn and my crochet hook with me while I was enjoying my stay at hotel Memorial Hospital. My bestie came to sit and visit the day before I was discharged. She brought her yarn and hook as well, and we got to sit and crochet, sip coffee, and chat about all the happy things in life. It was an uplifting moment during a time when the walls were closing in!
The day I was discharged a dear friend came to visit and bring me coffee. She got to be my ride home, and boy was I GLAD to escape back to my home and my kiddos! That ride home was another uplifting moment in a dark time! We laughed together, caught up with each other on life, and she got to be a witness to another small miracle in my life that will be for another post, another day. I will say this, God’s timing is most definitely impeccable!
Fast forward to today:
The ablation did work. It took months for the effects of the blood clots and then the heavy bleeding to finally fall away, and I do still have some every now and then. But I am doing so much better today than I was 5 months ago!
The support I have received through these months has been amazing! Thank you all for keeping me in thoughts and prayers, and lending assistance while we walked this crazy road!
The end of the Covid Journey has finally come for the children! The time has come to open windows, doors, pull out the Lysol, Clorox, Fresheners, SCENTSY WAX AND WARMERS, and room sprays! Brooms, mops, laundry detergent, and varying soaps abound!
Now, for all of you who know me well… my house might get clean one room at a time… but once I move to the next room, the previous will be dirty all over again. Sometimes because I’m that slow getting there, but mostly because my tiny tornadoes are that quick at “normalizing” my freshly sparkled surfaces! Haha!
Cleaning and sanitizing aside, I know everyone wants to know how the household is faring thus far…
Titus lost his sense of taste and smell for a total of 24 hours, and had SLIGHT body cramping for about 6 hours. All in the same day. He’s been fine since.
Micah was pretty much out of the woods by the day after they tested. His chief complaint was his throat, and it was pretty bad. He did have the cough for a few days, and several nights through the night. Other than that, he never ran a fever, never had any other issues, and is doing QUITE well now!
Rayne… same as Titus as far as outward issues. She did have a scratchy voice for several days, and acted like she was hurting “somewhere” for about 48 hours.
Asher had the nastiest poo diapers anyone has ever seen in this family for about 5 days! Y’all… it was GROSS!! He bounced back from that, and a slight nighttime cough for a few nights, and has been on top of the world (but under Rayne) ever since!
I never tested positive… but I was sick. Who knows if I actually had it or not, but I was just as bad as Micah for several days. And, given that EVERYONE else in my house had Covid… I think I had false negatives. But I digress…
Levi is coming back to his own on a gradual pace. He was released to go back to school Monday, and when he got home Monday afternoon he crashed… hard. He slept the entire afternoon, evening, and then off and on the whole night into Tuesday morning. He has a very slight lingering cough, nothing rough. His voice still sounds raspy and congested. But overall, he’s improved greatly!
My darling grandmother doesn’t have Covid either… but her annual bronchitis has made its glorious return to her life, and she’s getting better by the day with her medication and PLENTY of outdoor time! Because… what’s going to stop Granny from going outside and working in her flowers?
Yeah… exactly.
Today was the first day I was able to work from home with no kids here until 3pm. I almost didn’t know what to do with myself! I had to turn up some music to cover the silence that was all around me! I got laundry done during breaks, and cleaned the dining room, living room, and hallway during lunch. It was glorious!!
Tonight everyone is already in their beds and it’s not even 8:30pm!
WHAT?!
YES!!!
Part of me wants to crawl into my bed and sleep so badly…
Part of me also wants to get a few more things done around the house that I know are necessary as well.
I can’t tell you which part will win tonight. I’m just going to take some time to be extremely thankful that we went through this tunnel with the ease and grace that we did! It could have been A LOT worse!
But it wasn’t.
And I am just sooooo thankful!
I don’t think I want to look at another bottle of Gatorade for a very long time.
I KNOW I don’t want to see, smell, or taste cough syrup again for a LONG time either!
But I am NOT tired of soup!
And we had lots of soup!
In fact, we are doing Chili tomorrow night. At the request of the kiddos!
Ah… children after my own heart!
Until the next time, my friends!
Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers! They worked!
~B~
Ps. Next time we will have a little chat about my fridge going out while we were quarantined… THAT was fun…
It’s 11pm on day… 8 for two of us and day 5 for the rest… I think?
Anyway, here is the update I have the energy for tonight…
We just won’t talk about me until tomorrow night.
Titus was totally a-symptomatic until today. He woke up sore all over and started taking Motrin and Tylenol on a timed schedule all day and seems to be fine this evening. Yay!
Micah is improving. He still has a raggedy cough now and then, and is taking the medication accordingly.
Rayne has a raspy voice, and the gross poo issue.
Asher has had a HORRID diaper rash for two days and he was feverish yesterday. He’s better today.
Levi…
Levi is my concern.
Levi barely leaves his bed except to use the bathroom or get something to drink. He hasn’t eaten food in 24 hours. He was “better” three days after his symptoms started, but as of yesterday (day 7) he started to sink a bit. We are hoping he doesn’t tank on us here…
From the reports I have received from others who’s children his age have had it, they tanked around days 8-10 and it was rough. I’m hoping I’m seeing the worst with him now.
We have cone all we can to keep it at bay, only to get it. And now we are doing all we know to do to keep it as mild as possible.
I’m still working, because the state isn’t giving us Covid time off anymore, as of earlier this month. So I’m doing this whole mess while working from home as well…
Fun times!
Just continue keeping us in your prayers and I’ll hopefully have better news as we continue on this journey.
The little o2 sensor thing has come in handy, to say the least. The medicine is flowing freely. The ice machine is getting a workout like nobody’s business! We have consumed at least 7 containers of Gatorade, several bottles of Body Armor, at least 4 gallons of home-made sweet tea, and countless cups of water and ice over the past few days…
We spend as much time as possible in the sunlight (when the sun is shining, and we are awake simultaneously).
I have made 4 different types of soup so far, and only two of them ended up in the freezer or fridge later for leftovers.
I think the toddlers will kick it faster than anyone, because they are mobile and wreaking havoc all over my house every waking hour. So we are good there. The diaper rash issue is a thing, but likely because of the lack of milk, and the increase in other types of fluids due to the risk of dehydration.
Micah will kick it, too. I am confident he is on the upward trend from it all.
Who knows about Titus… he is a mystery with ANY viral anything. Haha!
Keep Levi in your prayers. His upward rise from this is going to be much slower than anyone’s unless he surprises me and just springs from it in a day… which would be GREAT in my book!
Ok… I’m going to crash while I’m awake enough to remember where my bed is.
As far as I know thus far, two have tested positive in my household for Covid.
Now, as everyone knows, I have been trying to put together some other blog posts, which I will complete as I can and post accordingly, but I want to also share with you our Covid Journey.
Because everyone’s journey is different. Even if they are all in the same household!
So…
We do not know FOR SURE where we were exposed, and I will NOT say one place or another. We were simply exposed over the weekend last week. That is all.
Tuesday Levi complained of not feeling well at school (which is his norm anyway… school + Levi = sickness) *insert rolled eyes*.
Wednesday Micah was sent home from school with swollen tonsils.
Thursday neither of them were feeling well and were tested.
Friday: The results came in. Positive for Covid.
Saturday: the rest of the family was tested.
As far as symptoms…
Levi is the worst.
He has a nasty cough, no energy, low grade fever, can’t taste anything, can’t breathe all that great, and sleeps off and on all day and night.
Micah is already starting to feel better. But I am keeping an eye on him.
I feel… well… How can I even describe how I feel???
It’s a typical day for me with a little extra rough and yuck.
I have Fibromyalgia so I feel like I am having a flare up week with a little extra gross in between.
Yesterday (Saturday) Asher started acting like he might not be feeling well. Today he is about the same. No major changes thus far.
Rayne is great. She’s a beast! So is her carbon copy older brother Titus. Nothing there either.
In fact… let me share with you what Titus did last night!
So… we ALL know my kids are prone to the “interesting and odd” behaviors, and Titus is the firstborn, so he’s expected to lead in such things. Last night he did NOT disappoint!
He walked into the kitchen with a can of Lysol in his hand and said, “Hey mom. Wanna see how I protect myself from the rona?”
I turn from my dishes I was angrily washing at the time and said, “Uhm, Ok? What do you do?”
He proceeds to pop the cap off the Lysol, take a deep breath, close his eyes, and SPRAY IT ALL OVER HIMSELF from head to toe without missing a beat!!!
I stood in total shock, speechless, for a few seconds before shouting, “Titus! What are you doing?!?”
To which he cheerfully responded, “What? I’m making sure I don’t get it! Better safe than sorry!” Put the bottle on top of the fridge, turned on his heel, and skipped off through the house whistling a happy tune!
This is the point where I feel I must add that I AM NOT AN EXPERT PARENT! Hahaha!
So, other than Titus and his odd antics, the rest of us are doing decent thus far.
No fevers, no chills, and none of the “severe” Covid symptoms so far. Mostly the gross flu-like symptoms for everyone. And I hope that is the worst it gets.
We are treating our symptoms. Cough medicines, Motrin, Tylenol, all the vitamins and mineral supplements, LOTS OF WATER, some body armor drinks, Gatorade, orange juice, and so on. I’ve also made sure everyone spends some time in the sunlight outside as well. My hope is that we kick it together like the strong little tribe we have become over the past few years.
I must also add, before I end this post, that I am PROUD of my kids! They are troopers! They are strong! They have battled through so much in their young lives, and have come out on the other side as little warriors! And this Momma is super thrilled at the amazing abilities they have shown in the times of adversity and yuck. Every night when I lay in my bed I am beyond thankful for the blessings that are my kiddos! Gosh… I’m so blessed!
And with that, I will keep you all posted as we trudge through this, another of many tunnels we have endured, and how we fare through the yuck and gunk, and how we come out on the other side!
Something I have let slip by me in recent months has been my devotion times. Those moments, whether they be in the morning, afternoon, or late at night, when I can open my Bible or another book that is inspirational to me and bask in some positive thoughts and prayers.
I am happy to say that I have picked up the habit again, and it has been a glorious thing!
One, small scripture has been in my mind for weeks now and I just felt I needed to share with you all my thoughts on this one.
Whether you are a Christian or not… this is for you!
Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
In the past several months, I have seen and experienced many changes in life.
Ups and downs.
There were moments of great joys and moments of worry and stress. And sometimes, like many people do, I would lose myself in the lesser moments. The moments of worry, stress, pondering things of the past that are no longer relevant to my life or my family, and I would forget the things I SHOULD be thinking about.
And I have learned and known from experience, those things that we THINK about eventually become the things we SPEAK. Right?!
Which is why this verse is sooooo important!
I can vividly remember a time when my family was going through a struggle, when I was a teenager, and my mom would quote this verse at random, just walking around the house or even driving in the car. I didn’t memorize this verse for Bible drills as a child, or as a memory verse in Sunday School. No, I memorized this verse by hearing my mother quote it for a very, very long time. Almost daily.
When I had moments of frustration my mom would ask me if my thoughts were true, honest, pure, lovely, just, of good report, virtuous or praise-worthy, and I couldn’t tell you how many times I rolled my eyes so far, I’m shocked they never got stuck!
Fast forward to this past year…
I cannot tell you how many times I have caught myself, in moments of frustration with people, circumstances, and other things, thinking, “is this something that is TRUE? Is this HONEST? Is it PURE? Is this VIRTUOUS?… and if not, WHY am I letting it invade my thoughts rent-free?!”
Now let’s talk about my experiences with thought to word…
I went through some dark days several years ago, and they lasted quite some time. My thoughts were not positive. They were not happy. I was angry, bitter, hurt, lonely, and pretty much broken. I let the negative seep into my mind, and it eventually became how I spoke.
My words were not positive. My outlook on life was not positive. And with every negative thought that became words, it came full circle and made me even more miserable.
And then I found PEACE…
I cannot tell you when or where. I just know it happened. And it was a glorious thing!
With peace came the memories I had let myself forget. The times when I would hear my mother speak words of wisdom, peace, joy, love, kindness, and all things encouraging in times of struggle in her own life. How she was able to stand up and stay silent during times when crumbling and giving up during the battle was so tempting! I thought she was just being too nice, but she was building her heart and mind into something amazing!
And she was building it in me as well…
And so, here we are…
We have endured a Pandemic, lock-down, remote learning, remote working, NO working, wearing masks everywhere, not being able to gather as families and groups, and so much more!
People got sick.
People died.
People we know.
I have seen families fall apart.
I have seen people endure mental struggles they would have never otherwise experienced.
I have had to explain to my children why we couldn’t “go and do.”
We have endured struggles because of things beyond our control.
We have endured hardships.
I could go on and on about the things we have “suffered.”
But why???
Because it is so easy to fall victim of the one thing that captures our thoughts and words… the negative.
There’s another verse in the Bible that talks about our words. In Proverbs… “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”
So, when we THINK the negative, we SPEAK the negative. And the negative kills.
I’m not talking about killing a person. I am talking about killing other things.
Negative kills joy.
It kills laughter.
It kills kindness.
It kills peace.
It kills love.
It kills our praise.
And it kills the spirit…
So let’s put a flip on it for a moment and see how it changes the outlook.
(We had a pandemic, and lock-down.)
I got to spend an entire year with my babies and experience every milestone!
(People got sick with Covid.)
Nobody in my family got ANY other virus all year!
(I didn’t have a job for a while.)
I got to spend all spring and summer in the garden with my grandmother who is 80 years old. We snapped beans, canned pickles, talked about tomatoes, peppers, flowers, and more!
(My children struggled with remote learning.)
My kids got to learn to drive tractors, hike, ride bikes and golf carts, fix broken things, install flooring, appliances, and bathroom things, and learned many family skills!
I got back to my roots!
I picked up books, my Bible, my journal, my notebooks, and my computer and I filled my heart and mind with the things that make me happy, stronger, more peaceful, and my spirit is happy.
Yes, I still have days and nights where I sit and wonder how I am going to do things on my own. I wonder when I will get enough sleep. I wonder how I will manage to spread myself a little thinner for all the things a single mother of five must do on the daily…
It’s been way too long since I have posted and shared my thoughts and words with you all!
Many blogs have been started, and none finished.
Life has been… just a little hectic.
We’ve been exposed to COVID in January (or February, I don’t even remember… it’s all running together now).
Sinus infections, allergies, the bathroom remodel, leaky water heater, car decides not to start, fevers, sleepless nights… I’m sure I’m leaving something out!
One thing got me this weekend though, and I didn’t even think of the impact until I told a friend about it this morning.
Sunday, I didn’t make it to church. The second week in a row.
Babies with fevers, and older kids trying to decide if their symptoms were of a contagious sort, or allergies… I was ragged.
I took a moment, after being smothered by one of the twins for constant cuddles and attention, to just step out my back door and breathe. I was standing in my back porch when my tiny grandmother walked in with her broom and dustpan. She saw me out there tossing boxes and whatnot in all my frustration (I was honestly throwing things to vent, not clean) and she figured I might need a little help cleaning out there. I had just laid the babies down for their nap and just wanted a moment of peace.
I was overwhelmed. Drained. Exhausted. Lonely…
In she walks with her broom taller than she, and says, “Well, where should I start?”
At first, I was frustrated. I won’t lie. I just wanted to sit down and mope about my circumstances. I just watched a live video of a church service I wanted to be present for in person. I had one child begging me not to make him go to school the next day and it wasn’t even 1pm Sunday afternoon. I was struggling. Deeply.
But I got up and showed her this TINY area that was “priority” to get cleaned and said we should start there.
“This is really where I wanted to clean up, and then I think I’ll go take a break while the babies sleep…”
Well… anyone who knows my grandma KNOWS she’s not going to settle for some little space.
Two hours later, ¾ of the back porch was cleaned, swept, and wiped down. I could feel the Fibro flare up wanting to start up almost immediately. I was completely drained. But… I felt good.
I didn’t feel great. But I felt GOOD… this was something I hadn’t felt in weeks! I looked around us, little Grandma with dustpan in hand and her other hand on her hip, observing a job mostly done.
A cleaned floor, washer and dryer both running with things that were being cleaned, and no more smell of clutter, trash, and yuck all around.
I didn’t take any pictures of this grand event, before or after, so there isn’t much to aid the visual for you wonderful readers today.
However!
Picture in your mind’s eye a mother drained. Torn. Sad. Angry. Isolated. Frustrated. Confused. Stressed, and just… done.
And then this tiny woman, 4 ft 9, marching in with purpose and with a single phrase inspiring motivation I didn’t even want in the moment… bringing just enough spunk with her into my house, she lifted me more than she will ever know. Regardless of how I express it to her.
It’s the little things that bring the biggest rewards.
I know this isn’t one of my longer posts, and it really doesn’t need to be tonight.
It’s a post of appreciation for an amazing woman in my life.
It’s a post to remind myself that I truly am most assuredly blessed beyond measure.
It’s a reminder that I can get through these long days, and longer nights. Through all the stress, exhaustion, frustration, and everything that weighs me down, I can get up. I can find my motivation again.
I see you, tired mama. Sad mama. Weary, worn, and burnt-out mama.
I see you… and I am praying for you!
We will rise. We will come from the tunnel that today has brought and bask in the light!
“Weeping may endure for the night… but joy comes in the morning!”
